Bit of a strange week this week, which Id kind of expected. Toast, the new GM started work on Wednesday and has so far been all sweetness and light. He certainly has a more aggressive management style than the old GM but that�s not necessarily a bad thing as Twat Inc does give a whole new meaning to the phrase "complacent and stuck in a time warp".
Had a meeting on Wednesday with the Head of IT to try to better understand what it is that Capt Skiver is supposed to do all day and why it seems to go so catastrophically wrong every six months or so. I was expecting the info either to go completely over my head or for IT Guy to send five minutes rattling through it and then tell me he had something more important to do, but he spent over an hour talking me through every stage of the procedures and answering my dumb-ass questions without sighing or raising his eyebrows. I even understood enough of it to be able to offer a solution to a long running data entry problem.
When I got back to my office I asked Capt Skiver if he could use Excel. He admitted he couldnt but offered to learn. Unfortunately, once I explained why I wanted him to learn Excel as it would solve the big data entry problem, he went into a massive strop and made all sorts of excuses for not doing it including "No one reads that rubbish anyway". He�s so helpful.
Thursday was a day of small triumphs. First was a Management Meeting � Toast�s first. He asked lots of questions and it became apparent that nobody really wanted to tell him how things really are at Twat Inc, which was kind and unkind at the same time, as he will surely find out fairly soon and will then be mighty pissed off that nobody told him. Apart from that the meeting was really useful � I didn�t feel out of my depth at all and even shared a couple of conspiratorial jokes with Army Boy about phone sanitising and why it is an extraordinary waste of company cash.
After work was Jooj�s Parents Evening at which I was prepared to do bloody battle with her literacy teacher to get her some more suitable reading materials. Unfortunately Shagnasty and I (Oh, it was soooo lovely to see him again), were totally wrong-footed from the first moment when the literacy teacher (who is, like, 15!) told us he�d love Jooj to have something more stimulating to read but is only allowed to give her "11 up" books if we gave our permission. Apparently he�d got into trouble a year or two back by letting some year 6 kids read The Curious Tale of The Dog in The Moonlight. Ive read it, and I don�t think Id have a problem with Jooj reading it, but he told us some of the parents had complained about the bad language. To be honest, I really cant see the problem. Jooj knows she isnt allowed to swear but that doesn�t mean she should be shielded from swear words. She cant drive a car and I wouldn�t be keen on her having sex either, but that doesn�t mean she cant explain the workings of the internal combustion engine, or tell you where babies come from. If you�ve set your child clear enough boundaries for acceptable and non-acceptable behaviour then surely they should just see the bad language in a book as part of the story, and not an instruction to go do the same.
Anyway, five seconds after totally changing our minds about the Boy Literacy, we were left flabbergasted when Jooj�s class teacher (who is also her sciences teacher) gave us some photocopied sheets on joining the National Association for Gifted Children and suggested we get Jooj involved as "she�d really benefit from being with other children like her". I did a bit of rapid blinking and Shagnasty actually gaped and went "Wha�.?"
We kind of knew she was clever but, Fucking Hell! I checked out the website for the local branch and, I have to say, the activities and social events they do are right up Jooj�s street � next week is an afternoon exploring air pressure and why things fly (including making things that can fly!) and the week after is hi-tech orienteering with GPS.
I still wasn�t convinced that it would be necessarily what Jooj would want to do but we had a long chat about it and she liked the idea of making more friends. Although she did say "Are you sure they�ve got the right person, mum? Im not gifted!" She said she likes chatting to her mates at school about boys and music and fashion and make-up but "if we arent talking about those things then sometimes they don�t understand what Im talking about and then they call me a swot. And they don�t know any of the stuff I know and sometimes I say I don�t know too, even if I do." Maybe she would benefit. I worry about her.
Jooj and Treacle stayed at Shagnasty�s Thursday night so BF and I got a chance to try out our new DVD writer. Needless to say, we arent using it for any grown up sensible purpose. Just a way to burn some of our extensive porn collection to DVD so we can watch it on telly in the sitting room instead of on the monitors in the studio. In truly decadent stylee we went and got a Chinese takeaway first and sat on the sofa, scoffing deep fried salt & pepper king prawns and bickering about whether we�d lost any picture clarity and whether or not it was just cos the telly needed dusting.
update Since writing that last bit, BF has figured out how to do �chapters� and so can now write his own amusing and pertinent narrative on each section of a film and you can skip to the bit you really like best (or skip over the bits that make you go "eeeeeuuuw, that�s GOTTA hurt")
Friday was a day of mixed fortunes. Apparently there was an Open Afternoon at Treacle�s school. I didn�t go. I didn�t know anything about it. Unfortunately, Shagnasty didn�t go either, as he also didn�t know anything about it. Her teacher told BF that she was very upset that nobody went to see her work. Then BF was all upset because even if me and Shagnasty had known about it and hadnt been able to go, BF wasn�t working Friday and couldve gone in loco parentis. I didn�t find all this out til later on Friday night as I was busy getting Jooj ready for a party, so of course I was doubly upset as I felt like Id sidelined Treacle. I phoned her at her dad�s and she was quite cool about the whole business, but I think Im going to have to do a bit of Treacle Treating to make up for it.
Friday night BF and I caught the train room Chigley to ChavVille to meet up with a couple of BFs mates who were in town with a touring production of The Ray Charles Story. It was lovely to see them both but there was a lot of music talked and not much else in the way of entertainment. To be honest, Im not able to make much of a contribution to a heated discussion about jazz harmony. Still, I looked gorgeous and got lots of kisses when it was time to leave so it wasn�t an evening entirely wasted. Entirely wasted is also a description which could be applied to BF as he�d been on the 1664 all night and was bit on the wobbly side. He doesn�t seem to understand that, whilst its OK for him to not feel like eating while he�s taking antibiotics, the general rules about not having a skinful of beer on an empty stomach DO still apply. It was nice that we managed to have a night out and not spend a fortune though, as the train (and a taxi back home from the station only cost �10.50 total and not the �30 each way it would have cost in a taxi.
Saturday was the usual heady mix of grocery shopping, laundry, etc. Bf was rehearsing in the afternoon with the lovely support act for the Big Gig. Yours truly was on vocal support as M (the fabulously talented singer) didn�t know some of the songs BF wanted to work on. My singing�s nowhere near as good as M�s but its good enough to teach him the songs and I got a lovely hug and a "thanks so much for all your help" when they left, which was totally unexpected (and very welcome!), especially as throughout the proceedings I had been wearing a towel on my head as I was in the middle of bleaching my roots when they turned up.
Needless to say, my hair is now restored to its former glory and I, once again, look like the bastard child of Billy Idol and Doris Day.
When the Big Gig is a bit more imminent I *might* post the links to the theatre so you can see what we�ve been up to, but they�ll only be there for a short while if I do, so look out for �em if you�re that interested. I think Im still right to be twitchy about putting our pictures up here, and about giving away too much about where we live. Ex-wives and colleagues with hidden agendas don�t really need to see this stuff and much as I�d like to be a bit more visible here, I just don�t feel able to do it just yet.
Saturday night we went to Liz and D�s for dinner. Liz always goes into a tail-spin when we go to dinner as she says she cant cook but she did a lovely vegetable biriani and a super-scrummy white chocolate tart with raspberries and chocolate ice cream for dessert. We hadnt seen them since New Year so it was good to catch up on some gossip and generally have a good laugh. Liz and I have known each other for nearly 30 years so we always drag out a load of embarrassing stories about each other which leaves us squealing with laughter and the chaps just looking on, somewhat bemused. BF waited until we were leaving before pressing a newly minted porn DVD into Liz�s hands � she sent me a text this morning to say we are the only friends they�ve got who, when invited for dinner, turn up with chocolates, booze AND porn. I don�t know if that�s good or bad!
Got stuck into a bottle of scotch when we got home, even tho it was stupidly late, then watched a bit of Belladonna doin� her thing before retiring to the boudoir to do the whole thing a whole lot better! No dressing up required, just me, BF and a massive pile of horniness. Managed two full sessions without having to repair to the kitchen for sustenance, so Liz�s biriani must�ve been particularly sustaining � pretty unusual for us to not have to get up and get a sandwich half way through!
Also managed a quickie at ridiculous o�clock this morning, before going back to sleep until the coffee withdrawal symptoms and desperate need to pee got the better of us and we had to get up.
Bearing in mind this has taken me most of the day to write (in between cooking a turkey pie for supper and making some cakes and painting a bit more of the downstairs khazi), Im surprised to find BF is STILL in the studio dealing with the dance medley which actually sounds pretty much OK now, although its not really my kind of music. The whole sorry mess is now tempo matched and the bass lines are done so its only the fancy stuff to do and Ta Very Much, that�s a little pile of cash for the Stepfortart/BF coffers.
Im desperately trying to finish before 5 as there�s some kind of WWII commemoration going on in ChavVille this evening and its rumoured that the five Spitfires which are flying from Chigley airport (where they were originally made) to ChavVille docks for a fly-by, are going to be going over our house and I�d really like the kids to see that. I think it�ll be pretty impressive. Treacle just came out to the kitchen and said "Mumma, why are you still working? You should have a nice rest." Which is the story of my life really!
Might do a bit more later but until then�
S
x
PS I SAW THEM I SAWWWWW THEM Five Spitfires flew right over my house! I heard them first and ran out into the garden then they flew pas in perfect formation � quite a long way away but still noisy as hell and pretty awesome. Then they did their circuit and came back around, much lower and much nearer this time! BF joined me for a gawp. The girls missed the whole thing � they were watching Mona the Vampire � much more exciting.
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