Pocket full of Kryptonite

2015-11-13, 9:27 p.m.
The woman who saved L’s life back in February has died. L saw her a couple of weeks ago in the pub and she was all connected up to an oxygen tank. He sat with her a while and she told him she had lung cancer. She passed away on Sunday. L is still smoking and, if these were two people that I didn’t know, then I’d say there was some kind of injustice there but L is my husband and so….well, it makes things different, doesn’t it?

L is very sad that she died – I won’t be able to go to the funeral with him but I think I ought to send a card to her family. Not really sure what I should say, though – any ideas?

In other news, my job continues to be strange and terrifying and easy and difficult all in equal measures. I got paid today to plant some cyclamen in the rain and to watch Night at the Museum 3. Two of our girls absconded on Wednesday and were found on the railway lines. Yesterday’s Maths lesson involved the making of microwave brownies. I made the mistake of reading some of the ‘back story’ files on some of our girls and then had to have a cup of tea and a bit of a sit down as I realised I now can’t ‘unknow’ some of the horrific things I read. I’ve been tasked to run a cookery course after Christmas but some of the girls aren’t allowed near knives. Or ovens. Oh, and I went to work today dressed at Batman.

Had a Feyspook message late last night from a guy I’ve been crushing on for about 20 years, telling me that a ‘Young Person’ in his office explained to him why I sometimes call him ‘Kryptonite*’. He’s a dumbass for not working it out before, tbh, but I think after the first couple of times of responding to my chirpy ‘Hallo, Kryptonite!’ greeting with a quizzical look which never got him an explanation, he must’ve put it down to my overall mentalness and stopped thinking about it. Anyway, we’ve been weapons grade flirting for two decades without anything marriage-wrecking happening between us, and I see no reason to change that now. Hell, we even had a sex scene in a stage production of Ken Russell’s ‘The Devils’ some years ago when we were both young and bendy and we STILL didn’t turn our mutual appreciation society into anything to tut-tut about. So why am I embarrassed about the Kryptonite thing? ‘Because you’re an idiot’ isn’t a proper response, Diaryland. You can do better than that.

The whole ‘watching porn on my phone’ thing has been working out pretty well, thanks fer askin’, which is just as well as the doctors have increased the dosage of the heart meds that L is taking. Yeh, THOSE ONES. The ones that remove the part of your brain that deals with THOSE THOUGHTS. The ones that leave your astonishingly gorgeous wife wondering if she’s ever going to get to do THOSE THINGS ever again. Or be the recipient of anything other than the most avuncular of affection (a kiss on the top of the head IS NOT A KISS, FFS!!!!). I am making jokes about it to you lot because it’s not funny. At all.

Something else that’s not funny is that I’m STILL in pain from the damn ‘Cancer II – this time let’s fry her skin off’ debacle, the only way I can get comfortable in bed is to lie on my side with a pillow wedged between my boobs and the only way I can sleep is with a cocktail of mind-melting drugs swilling about in my system. I’m bored with this now and want it all to fuck off.

You, on the other hand, can do the opposite of fuck off, cos you are fabulous.

Later
S
x

*Just in case you, too, are sex-on-a-stick but as stupid as mud, it’s to do with the whole ‘my only weakness’ type thing. Don’t know what it is about him – he’s not even good looking – but OMIFUCKINGOD he lights my candle.




back - forth