Always win. ALWAYS.

2013-12-14, 11:35 p.m.
We like a little fight, my daughters and I. There�s noogies, and thumb wars and getting smacked in the face with a cold flannel and all that sort of thing. Im the biggest and the strongest and, seeing as I own pretty much everything in this house, my arsenal of weapons is the largest.

I was trying to flex some parental muscle earlier, doing a mini-rant about the amount of washing up the kids had dotted around the TV room; glasses, plates, mugs etc everywhere.

Jooj got right up in my face, like she was spoiling for a fist fight, presumably in a comedic effort to diffuse my temper tantrum.

Being the perfect model of maturity that I am, I licked her nose.

About half an hour later, as she was finishing her dessert, she leaned across the table and slurped a big lick, right up my cheek. Then she ran. I could hear her on the stairs, getting Treacle to check if I was coming after her. Treacle saying �she�s just getting out of her chair� was enough for Jooj to skitter up stairs, squealing.

I sat back down. Treacle called up the stairs �OMIGOD, Jooj, she is going to GET you for that! She�s sat down but she�s LAUGHING. You�re going to DIIIIEEEEE!!!!!�

Several hours passed.

Just a few minutes ago, I�d got some Ritz crackers and dips for a little late night snack. Jooj and I happily crunched and dipped and dipped and crunched.

I dipped my cracker horizontally, so that cheese and chive dip covered the entire flat side of the cracker. Then I sat back a little. Jooj took a cracker and leaned forward, ready to dip. As she reached the point of no return with her outstretched arm�..I stuck my cracker to her face.

I.

Always.

Win.

I could hardly hear her calling me a fucking bell-end, I was laughing so hard.

Later
S
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