Mujahideen Pie Hat
2013-05-30, 1:50 a.m.
Jooj is going to Bruges on Friday. With Zee-the-dimwit-boyfriend and another couple of silly teens. Theyre staying in my sister�s house so they�ll be perfectly safe and it is entirely a more suitable option for a My First Proper Grown Up Holiday than catching herpes in Ayia Napa, if you ask me. Which is exactly what you must do if you want to go on holiday and you are seventeen. �Ask me�, that is. Not �catch herpes�.Because all things Brugian are on my mind I keep being reminded of something my dad said, last time he�d been over there for a visit and it had been very cold.
Didn�t you go to the market, dad? You could have got a hat.
I went, but I couldn�t see anything I liked. It was all Mujahideen Pie Hats.
Not a millisecond had passed before I knew that he meant these:
Which I think he thought would make him look like this:
If you must use the right word, theyre called Pakol , but I would consider it a personal insult to my dad if you EVER call them anything but Mujahideen Pie Hats in future.
Heeheeheeheeheeeeee. Mujahideen Pie Hats. Heeheeheeheehee. *smiley face*
Because he is a nosy bugger my BAMF/BFAM, whystinger (no link, he�s locked. If you want him, you�ll just have to beg, like I did. For a PASSWORD!!! Omigosh, your mind is in the SEWER, Diaryland!) has been asking what happened with kid and the Teaching Assistant and the chair-throwing and the FUCKOFFing and everything. There�s not much to tell really. That Teaching Assistant sometimes needs a little �retraining�. Oh, and the kid in question needs to not be in mainstream education as mainstream education is doing him NO favours at all. Im gonna give him a nickname cos I think I might be mentioning him again. Imma call him Culk.
Sometimes I let Culk do colouring-in in my Maths class because I physically CANT differentiate the Maths down far enough for him to understand. He goes over the lines. Sometimes he gets up and wanders around, punching other students. Sometimes he shouts out squawking sounds for the whole lesson (that�s 75 minutes). He has issues, fersure. Watch this space � I�ll be telling you more about Culk. Sometimes its funny, but quite often its not.
Ive had a day off today. Its half term week so Im off work for the whole week but Ive taken a proper day off today and haven�t done any housework or chores or anything much. In fact, Ive had my slippers on all day and no makeup. Its been VERRRRRRY quiet in The Palace of Many Sins as everyone went out and left me. The only thing Ive done that is even a little bit like chores has been the stupid amounts of �trips to the station and back� that Ive done. Treacle was at her boyfriend�s house most of the day (Don�t. I know how that sounds). Jooj was off to Bournemouth to go to the cinema with some pals and L has disappeared up to London with JG to watch Whitesnake and Journey in concert! The �!� is mostly because it was JG�s treat and L didn�t have to pay at all! YAY! Jooj is back home now but L hasn�t called at all, not even to say that he�s back on the train so I guess he�s still in London and I will have to go out in my slippers at stupid o�clock and pick him up from the station. Its 20 to midnight already. Meh.
Oh, other things Ive done today, but which don�t count as chores:
made a quiche (red pepper, onion and cheese),
made a crusty loaf,
coloured my hair which is now like a giant vanilla candy floss on my head,
looked in the spare room and decided it needed much more tidying than should be done on a no-chores day,
shut the spare room door,
eaten a giant bag of peanut puffs � it really was a giant bag, too. It could easily have doubled as a bolster cushion.
marvelled at the number and variety of farts that eating a whole bolster-cushion sized bag of peanut puffs produces
��..and there was some other business with the some bedside cabinet items, which took up much more time than was strictly necessary but did leave me slightly euphoric. And with a mild case of Vibration White Finger.
L just called. Its 01.22. :-/
I realised I haven�t told you anything about L�s dad�s funeral but its pretty late now so Im gonna keep it as brief as I can. You can weave your own story around the following list of elements:
Lovely new (half) sister in law that I hadn�t met before
Family feud looking like it was going to carry on for a 3rd generation until stamped on very hard, by me
Old sister in law and L fighting and both needing a slap
White lilies which were beautiful but meant that there was no money for groceries that week
My Betty Jackson dress still looking incredible after ten years, especially with red shoes!
Octogenarian Irish Catholic priest commenting on the shoes. Several times.
Quote of the day: conversation between me and the priest, where he commented on the excellent education I would have got at the Catholic private school I attended, and at which he knew several of the incumbents.
�Ah, they will have done awroight by yez, fersure����Moind yew, some of doze nons was BITCHES, wasn�t dey?!�
He didn�t wait for an answer. Just patted the hand he�d been holding (!) for the time it had taken us to walk back from the graveside, and toddled off to look for his lift.
Later
S
x
02:10 L is home now. I just explained to him what a Mujahideen Pie Hat is, He didnt even crack a smile. Even *saying* Mujahideen Pie Hat makes me laugh out loud. I have married a stone.
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