Dont get salt and vinegar in your eye, tho, eh?!

2012-12-02, 11:30 p.m.
So anyway. I haven�t managed to find any glasses that suit me, so these will have to do:

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If you have half a mind to (and half a mind is a pre-requisite for this task, obviously) you may wish to email me a picture of yourself making use of snackfoods as visual aids, then [email protected] is the place to send it and I will dutifully post it here just to let the general populace know that there are other people just as bloody stupid as I am. In particular, I�d like to see the employment of Monster Munch in such a capacity, as I think their �toes� would kind of look like beefy false eyelashes, and that would make me laugh. Fersure. A Hula Hoop monacle would also be good. In fact, and kind of crispy junk food/face parts combo would be excellent. Wotsit moustache, anyone? C�mon, don�t be shy. Play with your food.

Im still monumentally, stupidly, unfeasibly busy but in the five seconds before I have to do something a whole lot less fun than talk to y�all, I have time to tell you that Jooj turned 17! I KNOW!!!! HOW can that be possible? How can I have a 17 year old daughter when I am clearly only 25 myself?

I KNOWWWWWWW

Anyway, its true, because we had a party, and there was cake. She didn�t know what cake she wanted so I make some wee squares of cow cake (that�s marble cake to you) and put whipped ganache on �em and FAR too many sprinkles and Smarties and sugar stars and glitter than would EVER be necessary on single portions of cake in a normal universe and then we just stacked �em up and stuck candles in and Robert is one�s Mother�s Brother!

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Because I am also the world�s coolest mama (and only a little bit irresponsible) I made a big ole keg o� cocktails

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which soon �evaporated�, or something

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Don�t judge me for allowing 17 year olds to drink alcohol in my house. I think my house is an infinitely more preferable place to be drinking then, say, the back of the bus station or at a party where there are no grownups saying �OK, you�ve had enough. You need to stop now, or Im calling your mum to come and get you. Your call�. There were pretty much no mishaps aside from a crate of mixed flavour alcopops being dropped on the floor and smashing EVERYWHERE, but as it was me who dropped it and me who shouted OHFORFUCK�SSAKE and me who cleared up all the broken glass and mopped a thousand gallons of neon purple fizzy shite off my conservatory floor, that doesn�t really count. Oh, and there was a bit of a moment with a boy dressed only in his underpants, using my paella pan as a shield. I may never eat paella again.

I tried to take a picture of me and Jooj which would make us look like one of those optical illusions (or �obstacle hallucinations� as they are famously called by the ex-mother-in-law of my friend Karen) where you can either see two white profiles or a black vase, but I cocked it up a bit. Mostly because L took the picture and he is a bit of a knobhead.

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Oh and there was a bit where Jooj�s friends sang �Jooj�s mom has got it goin� on� all the way through and made me go a bit red, especially when they got to the bit that goes �I know it might be wrong, but Im in love with Jooj�s mom!�.

Happy Birthday, Jooj!

Two rehearsals, a gig, a play, a fancy dress party and a meeting at work (which will make me want to jab a pencil in my ear and stir my own brain into ready brek) and then it will be Sunday again but it�ll be next weekend and I�ll be a whole week older and more knackered.

*Phew*

Its all go, aint it?!

Later
S
x




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