Tangerine, Satsuma, Mandarin, ORANGE.
2012-05-22, 8:52 p.m.
MondayJust eaten a whole box of Marks and Spencer Cherry Liqueur Chocolates which are the closest approximation I can currently find to my favourite type of chocolates. I feel the justification in eating a whole box of chocolates (actually it was only NEARLY a whole box, as I already ate a few of them last night) as a)I have got cancer and must be indulged and b)I cant drive at the moment because of my stitches etc so I might as well be a little bit squiffy.
I vaguely remember trying to work out how many liqueur chocolates it would actually take to get drunk. Hang on, I�ll see if I can find it. Aha! It�s HERE . Not exactly conclusive, I�ll warrant you, but (complicated and wildly inaccurate alcoholic calculations aside) did give me a little pang of nostalgia reading how carefree and�umm�young I sound. *sigh* Oh, and I incorrectly use an apostrophe at one point but then, I WAS smoking quite a lot of dope in those days.
So. Several updates in the last few days but nothing actually about surgery or cancer or anything like that, huh? Avoidance tactics, much?
Well, yeh, probably. Whatever.
The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away � mostly he seems to be taketh awaying at the mo, as he appears to have seen fit to start to remove my fingernails (with the help of the last vestiges of Docetaxel in my system) along with my hair, eyebrows etc etc. None have actually come off as yet but five nails (plus two toenails) are looking somewhat perilous. Docetaxel does mean ole things to the nerve endings in your fingers and toes, meaning they permanently feel as tho you slammed them in a drawer and then packed them in ice until they went numb (painful AND numb � weird combo!) which means things which require teeny little movements are totally out of the question. Monumental pain in the arse if you are trying to pick up a pin or find the end of the sellotape but doe have the upside of making it damn near impossible to squeeze a pimple. If my skin weren�t so dry as to prevent any pimple even THINKING about rearing its ugly head, that would most deffo be a good thing. Anyways, Lord, maybe there might be a bit of giveth before long, huh?
Tuesday
So bored. SO SO SOOOOOOO bored. Its lovely and sunny today so I could go out if I wanted but my arm and shoulder arent really up to full functionality yet and I don�t think I really ought to attempt driving. Im also waiting for delivery guys to turn up with Jooj�s new bed.
Stupid things I have done today instead include:
Colouring my hair. Yes, yes, yes, I KNOW Im not allowed to colour my hair until the six post-chemo months are up and that, if I do, some hideous misfortune will befall me but I�VE GOT CANCER! What more hideous misfortune can you dream up for me, oh Glamour Nazis? Anyways, it's one of those temporary colour thingies that isn�t much more than a coloured shampoo so you can all just STFU, m�kay.
Actually, I wasn�t doing it in some delusional �if I do this I will instantly be my former gorgeous self� way. It was more a �can I make the teeny bit of hair that I have show up a bit more?� type exercise. My funny wispy white hair doesn�t even really look like hair at the moment, it just makes me have a kind of fuzzy edge, like Im permanently out of focus!
I used a �honey blond� one a couple of days ago as I thought that would maybe just colour the bits that are white and possibly wouldn�t dye my head a scary shade. Lets face it, if it didn�t work AND I ended up with a purple scalp, then that would just be adding insult to injury. So, �honey blond� it was, then.
That meant that I spent ten minutes of my life looking a bit like Simon Phoenix while I waited for the stuff to take:
Inorite? Separated at birth much?
Once I�d waited the requisite few minutes and washed the goo off again I could clearly see that�����it had made pretty much NO DIFFERENCE! Although, if I stood in a certain light and turned my head this way and that and had my glasses on and peered really closely I could definitely see that the white hairs were now more of a light beigey white. I was then reliably informed (ie my sister said so) that that particular hair colour stuff did come in a �light brown�, so maybe that would be a better bet, huh?
L just came in to tell me that the bed that we have been waiting all morning for is actually being delivered tomorrow � he�d not read their text properly. Instead of killing him and dancing on his grave singing a rousing chorus of �You Bloody Idiot�, Im going to walk (slowly � Im still sick, after all) down to Tesco and buy some brown sugar. Then Im going to come back and do some baking. My waistline may not thank me but, as I find baking therapeutic, my family most certainly will.
I�ll finish this later
Well, its now later and Ive had a go at driving this afternoon. It wasn�t actually too bad. I was a bit worried that the gear stick would be a problem, what with my sore/numb arm and my stitches and all that but it was kind of OK. Managed to get a different hair colour � they didn�t have �light brown� but they did have �warm copper� so I bought one of those, came home, whacked it on my head and started counting down the minutes until my wispy fronds of feather-hair would be noticeably more�umm�noticeable!
Yeh.
You definitely CAN notice my wispy fronds now, because my hair is BRIGHT ORANGE! I am such a dumbass. Seriously dear readers, its PROPER bright � like a hi-viz hat. I have no words to describe my own stupidity. I shall be spending this evening shampooing and shampooing and shampooing and shall let you know if it fades enough for me to look slightly less like a buzz-cut Ralph Malph.
You KNOW when you�ve been Tango�d
Its now several hours later. I have washed my hair with every single thing in the house that had any kind of detergent ingredient in it, and now I have very VERY clean, pale orange hair.
*sigh*
I also had to take the dressing off my boob as it had started to come unstuck and was itchy as hell. Ive only had a very little cry, honest. And Ive put another dressing back on top of the stitches so nobody need ever know that I peeped.