pictures! interspersed with waffling about nothing.

2011-05-03, 9:27 p.m.
Nipped into Lidl this evening and saw one of the most disturbing sights. An enormous fat man � so fat it wasn�t even amusing. The kind of fat man that its impossible to feel sorry for cos you kind of know he brought this on himself � it sure as hell wasn�t �glands�, unless he�d been deep-frying them in batter and eating em by the bucketload, of course. Anyways. Aside from being properly enormously fat, he was also filthy dirty � greasy hair, unshaven, clothes covered in unmentionable stains which COULDN�T have all been blobs of food. He wasn�t on his own, he had his wife/GF with him and she was pushing the trolley around, and decanting the entire contents of the crisps aisle into it. While she did this and presumably because he wasn�t able to stand for long, he was taking himself a bit of a sit down. Unfortunately, he�d chosen to sit on a display of cases of Guinness. Not lean against it, not rest by it�No. The good fellows of Lidl had stacked the cases into a neat cube, and this big fat unhygienic sweaty amorphous blob of self-indulgence had decided that the good people of Chigley had not removed a few for purchasing purposes, no, they were merely fashioning a giant Lego Guinness chair for his retailing respite. Revolting. Truly revolting.


Watched a bit of The Wedding thingy on Friday � not much of it cos I was sewing and talking to the internet bloke about how he was going to fix our internet and when I wasn�t doing that I was icing a cakey for the barmaid in the workies, who had been let down at the last minute. Honestly, dear readers, who tells someone they will make a cake for their 21st birthday party and then tells them they �are no longer willing to do it� with only two days notice? It was only a sponge cake, and not particularly huge � certainly not a seven tier Ace of Cakes extravaganza. I didn�t really have time to do it but you cant have a milestone birthday without cake, can you? I stayed up way too late on Thursday night, baking the sponge layers and then on Friday I started the decoration � some bits needed 24 hours to dry out so I couldn�t leave it any later than that. Anyways, she came to pick it up Saturday morning and she seemed pretty pleased � not least as I�d said I would only charge her for the ingredients and not for my time, so it only cost her �15.01. So, Happy Birthday Jodie!

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wanna see the flowers close-up? Oh, go on then

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Wonders will never cease, dear readers! Not only did I manage to keep roller skates on for a whole evening, I DID NOT FALL DOWN AT ALLLLL!!!

At lunchtime on Saturday, I still did not have a costume, nor any real idea of what I was going to dress as. Treacle�s Abba costume was all done, likewise Jooj�s Ziggy Stardust jacket, and we�d got facepaints and coloured hairspray in various colours all standing by.

I took a spin around the garden on the aforementioned rollerskates and decided, in lieu of anything better, to build an outfit around them. Found a little skirt with shorts joined on underneath in Treacle�s wardrobe and as she was at her dad�s I didn�t have to ask to borrow it. Then I added a fishnet bodystocking (mostly so I wouldn�t feel quite so naked, but also cos I had some kind of skating/fishnet/fetish/after party thing in my head � more on that later. Possibly), a giant blonde afro wig and copied a �Rollerball� logo onto an old tshirt and I was pretty much good to go!

By the time the kids came back I was relatively unstressed and remained so through all the different sets of hair, makeup and costume adjustments.

We pretty much looked OK, didn�t we?!

Ziggy and Agnetha:

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Roy Wood (Wizzard � overseas readers may need to google!)

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And the whole tragic gang. Someone seems to have replaced my legs with two boiled hams. I am VERY disappointed that the rollerskates are out of shot. Without them I just look a bit like Vera Duckworth at the gym. *sad face*. Must MUST lose some weight. I think if I hadn�t been quite so porky, the wig and the outfit wouldn�t have been so bloody hot.

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I said I�d show you some of the falconry stuff, too, although its kind of old news now.

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etc etc etc etc


Next time, there�ll be missing teenagers, and a shocking resurgence of my long-forgotten porn habit. Don�t hold your breath, the two aren�t connected!

Later
S
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