Cos they'd never fit 'Super Duper Whooper' on the roadsigns, silly!
2011-03-29, 10:18 p.m.
Forgive me father for I have sinned. It is 15 days since my last updation. Oh, and I have also just done another big fat sin by thinking its OK to compare diaryland to some kind of deity. My bad. Hold off on the smiting for a mo, tho, if you wouldn�t mind cos Im not sure how easy typing is when one�s been smote and I really could do with getting this finished before the whole eternal damnation thing kicks in. Thanks everso.Just to wrap up the whole Jamie Hyneman thing, further research has unearthed TWO (count them!) types of voiceover artiste on the Mythbusters payroll. Ive found that if I watch enough Mythbusters (like, say, nearly a WHOLE DAY when Im feeling poorly and cant be bothered to change channels) then I get to see both sorts of voiceover. The overexcited US version and the patronising UK version. Any US readers who�d like to experience the thrill that is �getting shit translated into metric for no good reason�, could do worse than check this out:
Oh, and check out the credits for the guy�s name��Robin Banks? Really?! What were his parents thinking of? Mind you, I went to school with a feisty little madam by the name of Rose Bush. Yup. Really. No wonder she had a bit of a �tude problem.
My auntie was a maths teacher in Devon, where its all still a bit Poldark, and she once taught a Demelza Bottey! HOW excellent is that name? Huh? Huh? It�s the BEST, isn�t it? Oh, and my friend Karen went to school with a girl called Roxanne Appolocino. I liked that name so much that I occasionally used it as an alias being, as it was, MUCH more glamorous than my own name � in particular my (maiden) surname, which has caused me much irritation over the years as it is the same as the maiden name of a certain princess and also of a fictional beret-wearing �comedy� character who can rollerskate under articulated lorries. *sigh*
Anyways, I digress. The first bit of my protracted absence was taken up with HAVING A HOLIDAY! which sounds much better and more extensive than it actually was, as it actually was three days in Weston-Super-Mare. Any place that has �super� in its name has got some serious living-up to do, and I have to say, Weston-Super-Mare shall henceforth be known as Weston-Super-DUPER-Mare as it is a most jolly splendid place to spend a couple of days!
We actually stayed a couple of miles outside Weston, in a place called Sand Bay. As you can see, it is both �sandy� and �a bay�, so I guess they got the name pretty much spot on. The tide was out when I took this so there wasn�t much paddling to be done, but seeing as its March I wasn�t really all that bothered, tbh.
We walked along the coast road into town a couple of times and it�s a really lovely walk
apart from this bit, where you can clearly see a hairy musician, running back to the hotel for a poo as he hasn�t realised how far he�s going to have to walk or quite how much strong coffee, smoked haddock and somerset sausages he�s crammed down his gullet at breakfast.
I�d like to say I waited patiently for him to return, but that would be untrue. I waited very Impatiently for him and when an elderly couple came along and asked if I was alright (lone female, standing about on coastal path, frowning) I made sure I told them that I was waiting ALONE in a STRANGE PLACE because my husband couldn�t cork his arse for a moment longer. The old gentleman made a comical face and jerked his head towards the beech trees �Oi�d ve ducked a�hoind one they big ole trees if Oi�nd a�bin ee� he said, sagely. As I speak west country I was able to reply �Arr. Happ�n ee a stupid ole bugger �n� nivver thort�n that tho!� and we had a jolly good laugh.
Eventually, the coast path comes out at birnbeck pier, which isn�t in use any more but still makes for a half decent picture
I do wonder what might happen if one tried to launch a lifeboat along that there ramp when the tide be out. SwwwwwwooooooossssssshhhhhTHUMP!
After less than an hour of pleasant strolling, the intrepid traveller arrives at Weston, which does its best to look all Brighton-y to make one feel just a teeny bit cosmopolitan.
Also afforded me the opportunity to give L a lecture on architectural features of the Georgian age and the importance of the pineapple as a status symbol.
Something about the way some of the limestone buildings were put together reminded me of something but I couldn�t decide what it was
until the Sunday afternoon when we drove through Cheddar Gorge and I realised the limestone buildings reminded me of�ummm�big lumps of limestone!
They�ve done a massive rejuvenation of the promenade and pier area in Weston, and a flipping good job they�ve made of it, too. Everything�s all lovely and clean and stylish and continentalish and they�ve even installed a sort of ersatz London Eye, in the form of the Weston Wheel
We went on it, and it was pretty good. You can see for miles:
in several directions!
I did actually make a little video, with commentary, for your delectation but I suffer most grievously from Accentitis. This means that, when I travel, I soak up the accents of the indigenous population and regurgitate them as my own. Consequently, the voiceover to this particular travelogue has me sounding like the bastard child of Jethro and Pam Ayres. I already sound a little bit like that, cos, DUH, I am from the south west (well, south middle actually, but deffo not south east!) but there�s just no need to take it quite to such bumpkinesque extremes!
We spent a very jolly weekend quaffing (we found a working mens club: double scotch and pint of Guinness �4.15!), scoffing (pasties � naturally, the aforementioned smoked haddock, 2-for-1 carvery dinners � pig out on roast pork for a tenner between the two of us! Drunken after-the-pub kebabs, eaten like proper toffs at a granite �picnic table� near the fountain at midnight. I had to take my jacket off to sit on as the granite seats were cold on my miniskirted bum, so L gallantly gave me his coat.) and �.*struggles to find another rhyming word which could conceivably be used as a euphemism for �having sex�*��boffing?
When you�re a little bit drunk and full of kebab and a bit shivery from all the coat swapping and youre waiting for a taxi and its 1am, it doesn�t do to try to take a picture of Weston pier. It�ll come out like this
which is kind of cool, but not really representative, if Im honest.
So. Weston SuperDuper Mare, then. If you haven�t been there, GO THERE. If you went there once and it was shit, go there again, its much improved! Hell, we enjoyed it so much we might even take the kids there!
In other news�umm�well, actually there isn�t much other news. If you have Farcebook and you know us in real life, nip over and check out the pic Jooj posted of her and the new BF. It is THEEEEEEE cutest! And as I seem to be channelling Fifi at the mo, I shall finish in list form:
and I think that�s pretty much all I gots fer ye