OW!
2009-03-10, 8:13 p.m.
On Friday morning, whilst getting dressed for work, something went �ping� in my back and was so painful that I have been walking with the aid of a stick all weekend and had to go to the doctors yesterday afternoon cos I was in so much pain.
�Having a bad back� is a piss-poor ailment. Nobody believes you and you look like a shirker. However, getting to work and not being able to get out of the car convinced a few unbelievers that I really WAS in pain, even tho having to phone the call centre from the car park and asking Dopey Beckie to sent out �one of the men� to help me out of the car didn�t do my credibility much good as a person. Funny Little Gay Andy was a peach, bless him, as he trilled �she said �one of the men�, God knows why she picked ME!�, before hooking his arms under me (in a very Nurse-like way � I was totally impressed) and yanking me out of the car. My squeals of pain mingling with his yelps of effort and the guffaws of mirth from the small crowd of co-workers gathered to see the spectacle, the bastards.
Im now signed off work for the rest of the week and taking cocktails of Co-Codamol and Voltarol in sufficient quantities to make me all fuzzy and vague. Sadly, this quantity isn�t enough to actually stop my back from hurting.
The fuzzy and vague thing means that Im only able to concentrate in ten minute bursts�.which is also the length of time I can sit down for without having to get up and have a little stroll hobble around.
Consequently, whilst I am mindful that I need to update y�all with the fascinating minutiae of my wonderful life, Im gonna need to do it in a more bullet-y stylee than usual, lengthy paragraphs being somewhat out of the question at the mo.
ExBF came round and looked at my unkempt bush. He�s coming back on Saturday to do the trimming. He seemed to get on alright with L, probably cos he looks ten years older but is actually a couple of years younger. My husband is nothing if not vain. I will post pictures in a compare-and-contrast, before-and-after way � both of the bush and the men I have chosen to sleep with over the years!Jooj managed to persuade her father to let her go to a gig at the weekend by phoning and asking if he could collect her from a �Community Arts Project�. I would have bollocked her for lying if I was not so busy laughing at her creativityJooj Creativity No. 2 � Off she went to the Natural History Museum on a school trip as she had a painting in some kind of schools exhibition there. I would like to tell you what the exhibition was��but I cant remember. It was something to do with Global Footprints, I think, as the production of Jooj�s picture included some sort of bathroom based activity a few weeks ago involving painting Treacle�s foot black and getting her to stamp on something. I forget what. The bath towels, possibly.It was a �non uniform event�. Non Uniform generally means all the kids dress in identical hoodies and skinny jeans and Jooj gets sent upstairs at least forty times before she leaves for school to �wipe some of that bloody cack off your face, you look like a racoon�. I picked her up from the station in the afternoon and the eye liner had mysteriously grown back over the course of the day but, hey, whatever.
As I am a nosy mama I downloaded her photos while she was at her dad�s house at the weekend and was somewhat surprised to find a lovely pic of her and her wee friend K, in which Jooj was sporting a very fetching NOSE RING!!!! Clip on � yes, but realistic nevertheless. *sigh* I guess we�re gonna have to have that �non uniform is not the same as party wear� chat again.
Fucking Hell my back hurts.Number of times I have been phoned by my co-workers today, despite the fact that I am OFF SICK, you bastards! = 8Number of times I have been sent texts by my co-workers today = eleventy bazillion. Minus one if I don�t count the one from Slaveboy telling me to wash my Co-codamol and Voltarol cocktails down with some Night Nurse �for added fuzzy�.Projects I am currently dealing with despite the fact that I am Oh.Eff.Eff.Ess.Eye.Cee.Kay fuckinghellhowmanymoretimesdoIhavetotellyou = 1 completed, one still a WIP, one new one which �really ought to be finished before you come back from your sick leave�. Sheesh. The completed project was emailed off at 10pm last night. My back had completely seized by then and I cried, quite a lot, when I tried to stand up. I included this information in the email I sent with the project � I don�t think it hurts to let people know that you have inconvenienced yourself to make their lives easier sometimes � especially when these people could easily have done the work themselves but chose instead to stand around looking stupid.Number of business meetings I am conducting from my sickbed/couch/whatever = 1 (tomorrow morning 10.30am). Incredibly, I will conduct this meeting in exactly the same way I do every meeting, but this one will have comfier chairs and a nicer selection of biscuits. I have made sure Evil Dolores knows about this one � if conducting meetings at home instead of costly and time-inefficient rescheduling doesn�t equal Big Fat Payrise, then my fist conducting a meeting with her face will equal Big Fat Lip.As I cant sit down very easily and standing still is a bit of a no-no, too, Ive found pottering about is the best way to dampen the pain. Stuff Ive accomplished today, therefore: Baked � two loaves and a tray of two dozen cookies. Made a spicy pork casserole for dinner. Washed up. Done some laundry (including the �hand wash only� stuff that I cant usually be bothered to do!). I need to be ill and immobile more often, I get loads done!Number of new jobs I have applied for this week = One. Expected to rise to double figures before the week is out. Well, wouldn�t you?Amount that my back hurts = A Cosmic Fuck Ton. Cubed.Later
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