Throwing a "half-sickie"
2008-11-06, 11:33 a.m.
Oooh, its been a while, hasn�t it! I�d like to say that I have been doing fabulously interesting things which have taken up all my time but, no, Ive been doing fabulously BORING things which have been taking up my time!Anyone vigilant enough to note what time Im posting this will see that I really should be at work, as its halfway through the morning but I have been to the hospital and had a shitload of crappy obs and gynae type stuff done to my poor old minge this morning and Im sitting around in the kitchen at home at the mo, having an extra cup of coffee, bitching about having stinging, aching girl-parts and resolutely NOT going back to work until I jolly well feel like it. I WOULD throw a sickie and take the whole day off but I really do have an extraordinary amount of work to do back at the office so I cant really spare the time to be sick!
Anyways, lots to catch up on��
Last weeks ice skating went pretty well � I didn�t fall over and the kids were, once again, impressed with my utter fabulousness on the ice. Im more �hockey� than �figure� which means lots of high speed, lots of spraying ice and lots of weaving in and out of other skaters, sometimes towing my kids behind me in a squealing, wobbling, bobble-hatted trail of �OMYGOSHMUMMYSLOWDOWWWWWWWWN!!!!�
Friday was Halloween. Both girls had invitations to go trick-or-treating � a practice which doesn�t sit very well with me, if Im honest. I bow down to my US cousins who seem to have the handle on it being a bit of jolly fun, with everyone entering into the spirit of dressing up and giving sweeties to little kids. Over here, it tends to be more gangs of morose teenaged hoodies wearing Scream masks, demanding money with menaces before letting down your car tyres and putting a banger through your letterbox.
Nevertheless, I let them both go. Shagnasty had told them both (and I later called him on it and he laughingly told me it was true!) �leave it til you get back to mums before you start on about costumes � she�ll do them anyway, she likes that kind of thing�. And they did.
Both were keen to work the �spooky dollie� kind of look and I think they both pretty much cracked it:
The �Treacle Dolly! � she sings, she dances, she stabs you through the heart with the breadknife while you sleep�!
And �TeenJooj � For Gothgirls everywhere! Scared of the dark? Let Teenjooj make every bedtime a living hell. Just prop her up in full view of your pillow and let your imagination do the rest. Comes with free stay-dry topsheet, you bedwetting pansy!�
L and I went to the workies, where they were resolutely NOT celebrating Halloween cos �Fridays is clubnight�, which basically means they couldn�t get their heads round the idea of swapping the band (Saturday) with the Meat Draw (Friday) so we could party on the right night.
Saturday afternoon, around 4.30, Lee and Anne Marie turned up apropos of nothing at all and suggested we go to the workies in the evening for the Halloween party and�..ummmmm�..shall we dress up�..???? Which basically meant �we want to dress up but we have no costumes, please find something for us�.
Managed to cobble together a selection of witches hats, capes, face paint and stuff like that and sent them away again. Then it was down to the serious business. An hour or so to go before we had to go out and L and I still didn�t have any costumes.
No matter. I had something of a plan. Some stylish, yet slutty clothes, a couple of pairs of devil horns, some sunglasses (removed for photo), some eyeliner and step forward Satan!
And Mrs Satan (very very drunk � photo taken when we got home!)!
And, yes, I am hanging onto the wall so I don�t fall over. We won a bottle of whisky. Yay! Lee and Anne Marie didn�t win anything. Maybe they�ll put a bit more effort in next time, Hmm guys?
When we got home, Lee�s daughter K set about L�s hair and back-combed it into a big frizz. As he is a bit of a baby, he had to have a wooden spoon to bite on through the process as K was �like, REALLY hurting my head!� In case you think that the idea of a grown man being traumatised by having his hair done by a 12 year old is a bit silly and unlikely, here�s the evidence.
(He�s gonna kill me for that). If anyone ever has to dig a bullet out of his flesh he�s gonna be totally fucked, the big wuss.
Yesterday was Bonfire Night. Overseas visitors not familiar with the custom can read all about it HERE. I managed to score some tickets to the fireworks display at Jooj and Treac�s old private school and even L came with us. They do have the BEST display, and when you consider that its only �3 each to get in, its worth every single penny. I was also totally blown away by the number of old friends* who were so pleased to see me! Seriously, I was hugged and kissed all night�.and not just by the dads! I hadn�t realized how much I had missed my old friends�.and I certainly didn�t think they had been missing me! We made some plans to all meet up after Christmas so it�ll be good to catch up on all the gossip and to be part of �that crowd� again.
Had an NVQ assessment yesterday. Despite my almost daily rants to Jooj and Treac about doing their homework on the day they get given it, not the night before it has to be handed in, I still had to burn the midnight oil to get my assignment finished. I am a rubbish student. The assessor seemed really impressed with the assignment, tho � much more than I thought she would be. I don�t know if its because I am much cleverer than I think I am (unlikely) or that MY perception of what might be needed for a �degree level� course, is actually a lot higher than is actually the case (more likely!).
If it really IS degree level, then a degree must be a fuck�s sight easier to get these days!
Next week Im on a photoshoot all week, which means I get to wear jeans to work all week and my house will be filled with flowers. Hoorah! Unfortunately, it also means mind numbing boredom, cold wet hands, MORE BLOODY STAIRS, and a burning desire to never see another bloody bouquet as long as I live. Boo.
More soon, my pretties
S
x
*this was the school my kids were at when Shagnasty went off with MiniMe. If you haven�t been with me since the beginning, you might not know that MiniMe and I were friends, with kids at the same school. After we split up, Shagnasty stopped paying the school fees and I went to work at Twat Inc so the girls could still go to the school. After we moved to Chigley I just couldn�t afford it any more and they now go to the state school. I still feel kind of guilty about that. It wasn�t a good time for me.