Its been a funny old week � a real mixture of splendidly Good Stuff and arsewipingly bad Bad Stuff. In the interests of not sitting here til Thursday detailing each little thing in minute detail, I�ll do my best to pr�cis the less dull bits.
Good Stuff #1 � We got a letter from the Rural Dean of Poshtown who has now received official confirmation from the Bishop that me and the lovely BF are suitable people to be married and they have agreed that we can marry in church. I am surprised at how much of a big deal this must have been for me, subconsciously, as I am really REALLY chuffed to bits. It means that I can start being boring here about my wedding as well as being boring about my house over here and boring about my life in general right here. That�s a lot of boring for you lot. And, no, Smed, not THAT kind of boring so don�t start with the puns already!
Good Stuff #2 � Just MOMENTS before getting the letter from the rural dean, I was surfing t�internet for wedding dresses (yes, I know I already bought one. But it was so cheap I feel I can carry on looking in case I see something I like better) and found one which made me yell �OH! OH! I want THAT!� which, as I was in the office and allegedly much to busy to be doing anything non work-based, caused some confused glances my way! Its so EXACTLY what I want that I haven�t even showed it to anyone. Only trouble is�..
Bad Stuff #1 -�.its in America. This means I would have to part with a considerable amount of money for a dress I have never seen �in the flesh� and which may or may not fit me when it arrives. BF suggests I buy it anyway and then put it on eB@y if it turns out to not be suitable. What do you think?
Good Stuff #3 � the Incompetent Marketing Moron mentioned here has left. After receiving a right royal bollocking from Boss Lady following her spectacular fucking up of the company magazine AND the next product launch AND the most recent photoshoot AND a myriad of other ill-informed, ill-conceived and generally hapless fuckups, she went off on holiday. While she was away, she emailed our HR dept to say she wasn�t coming back. I went to see Boss Lady. �Is this going to cause some problems for us?� says I. Boss Lady thinks for a bit, weighing up the pros and cons in her mind. �Nah.�, she says.
Bad Stuff #2 � Ive got a magazine to write. *sigh*.
Bad Stuff #3 � Slavey is on holiday for the next two weeks. Aaaaarrrrrgh! Instead of the ghastly Ada the Secondee to cover for Slavey, we have been allotted Kerry the Competent, which is about as good as I could have hoped for. At least she can actually type. And answer the phone. And she�s not fucking irritating to the extent that I want to jam my fists in my ears and screech
�SHUTUPSHUTUPSHUTUP you STUPID, TRIVIA-OBSESSED, GRANDMA. Spend a little LESS time talking about Eastenders WHICH YOU KNOW I DON�T WATCH, and a bit MORE time getting your work right first or even SECOND time around instead of consuming the equivalent of an equatorial rainforest-worth of 80gsm office white for every single fucking document you produce cos you cant listen to a set of SIMPLE INSTRUCTIONS MY 7 YEAR OLD COULD UNDERSTAND!�
Can you tell Ada was starting to get on my pip a bit? In fact she was getting on my pip to such an extent that I could hear other co-workers openly sniggering as I struggled to keep my temper after yet another round of inane prattle and �oops! I printed 30 copies by mistake! Look!....Oh, and its got the wrong date on. And the wrong contact. And the wrong product. Are they OK�.or do you want me to just quickly re-do it? Have we got any more of this fancy paper? I just spilled my coffee on these last twenty sheets you gave me. Oh. They were the last ones. Never mind. Guess what my grandson said yesterday. Its hilarious�..�
Good Stuff #4 � The revamp of the gas and electric supplies to the house is now pretty much done. The gas was reconnected last weekend (after two and a half weeks of only being able to cook stuff which could be baked as I had no hob!) and Graham was here over the bank holiday weekend updating all the electrics ready for the new stuff which has to go in the studio and the conservatory. While he was here, he also fitted a new main fuse box and tested all the sockets around the house. Everything�s all lovely and working as it should now.
Bad Stuff #4 � While I was out last weekend, Graham tested all the electrical sockets in the house. As we didn�t know he was going to do this, and we trust him not to steal from us, he did it unsupervised. He told us he�d done it after he�d finished. That means he went in our bedroom. My kids are on holiday (see below) and I hadn�t been at work for 2 weeks. Housework is quite low on my priority list when Im not at work. Graham went in our bedroom. In our bedroom, awaiting his perusal in his search for electrical sockets, he would have been hard pressed to miss the following: empty beer cans on the bedside table, a selection of sex aids/mint flavoured lubricant/dressing up clothes strewn around like an explosion in the flagship store of Dirty Sluts R Us, many many fossilized tissues (mainly attached to the carpet), several piles of dirty laundry, dust of a thickness Quentin Crisp would be proud of on every surface and an unmade bed. I would be ashamed if I could stop laughing.
Good Stuff #5 � My girls went on holiday with Shagnasty and his girlfriend (AWee) and her kids. To the seaside. Yay!
Bad Stuff #5 � Treac phoned me on Thursday and told me they�d been to the beach. Jooj came on the phone and told me some other stuff. Shagnasty and AWee took separate groceries on holiday with them. Shagnasty has been cooking for Jooj and Treacle and AWee has been cooking for her own kids only. During the day, they have often being going out on separate day trips and meeting up again in the evening (for separate dinners, natch). Jooj and Treac are only allowed to go into AWee�s children�s bedroom if the formal permission of AWee has been requested on each occasion. Shagnasty and AWee have had several big rows. The DVD�s they took with them (Bill & Ted, Waynes World, Johnny English) were confiscated as being �not suitable�. Im not being funny, but doesn�t that sound like the WORST holiday ever? Jooj said they were all off to Karaoke in the evening. I asked her what she was going to sing. She said she didn�t think daddy would let them sing as its �too embarrassing for him�.
At that point I asked if she would like me to drive down and bring them back home. She said everything was fine but I suspect I may well hear more when they get home tomorrow. Now, don�t get me wrong. I don�t really care that Shagnasty has got himself tucked up with yet another Psycho Hosebeast , but if she spoils my kids only holiday this year, she�s gonna learn a new definition of the word �fury�.
Good Stuff #6 � We�re off to the cinema to see the Bourne Ultimatum in a minute. When I�ve finished with the kitchen designer who rearranged from this morning. He was supposed to come at 11 but phoned at 12.15 to say he would need to reschedule to 4pm.
Bad Stuff #6 - Its now 4.32.
Later
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