Its sunny today so there was plenty of bare boyflesh in my front garden. Much as I find Chum and P a pair of total brain-dead wankers, they do have an impressive array of muscles, chest hair, tattoos and all round �.manliness about them. BF was supervising the concrete pour and so was fully clothed (concrete splashes BURN, boys and girls!) but still took time out to give me a couple of sweaty kisses and a squeeze or two.
Now, I KNOW that, as a captain of industry and an educated middle class mummie, I should set my sights on a slightly more cerebral plane, but BOY do I love me some Workman. The boots, the shorts, the calloused hands���fucking hell, Im in heaven.
Had to take myself off to Lidls so I didn�t spontaneously combust.
Going to a party this afternoon and had promised to take a dessert so I was wandering around Lidls trying to find inspiration for an impressive dessert which didn�t involve using the hob at all (Yep. Still no gas in the house � that�s nearly three weeks now. *sigh*). Unfortunately, I am absolutely stony broke after two weeks of having Jooj and Treac at home with me, so wasn�t quite able to stretch to the usual array of gorgeous puddingy tidbits. An impressive dessert, on the cheap, is never an easy task, my friends�.especially when all one can think about is rivulets of sweat running down through chest hairs and arms that can LIFT a wheelbarrow full of concrete��*gulp*
By the time I got home, they�d pretty much finished. P was digging a trench for some new gas pipes, so there was some grunting going on there. Buff Conservatory Guy (Mmmm, take a look!) was just wandering about, tidying up�..with his shirt off. Chum was mostly stomping around in big boots, looking bad tempered and as though he wanted to��spank someone. And BF was just looking fucking shaggable as he normally does.
Then they all went to the pub. Within about thirty seconds of getting back from Lidls, they had all gone, leaving me a panting, slightly damp, flustered wreck. All that testosterone in one fell swoop was just tooooo much.
Tried to take my mind off it by going inside and cooking a beef madras but it didn�t work. Kept drifting off mid-stir.
In the end, there was nothing for it. An hour or so in the bathroom with the sex toys and the Durex Play (�Tingle� variety, natch) seems to have done the trick. I think it�s a most impressive bit of marketing to make the stuff minty scented/flavoured. It means you can use it in the bathroom and anyone going in after you (and smelling mint) will just think you brushed your teeth or something. They need never know that you were leaning against the sink with the Rabbit X-treme, trying not to catch sight of your own cum-face in the mirrored doors of the medicine cabinet!
Did you ever catch sight of your own cum-face? Did you look fucking STUPID? Did you ever catch sight of your own cum-face, whilst �not alone� and then try to adjust it into something less gargoyle-ish? Oh, you SO did! The same way you caught sight of yourself doing it stood up and sucked your stomach in, or arched your back so your boobs didn�t look such a weird shape when being taken roughly from behind. You, mid-shag, have tried to rearrange your features into something more aesthetically pleasing. Something�..normal. Well anyway, at least something less resembling the winner of this years Gurning Whilst Being Electrocuted world cup.
Psst. It didn�t work. You still looked stupid.
So. That meant I had even less time to make the dessert for Kath�s party�.but it was still worth it. BF is home from the pub now and I still feel ridiculously horny. He�s gonna get it later fersure. But I don�t actually feel like I might DIE if I don�t get some, now.
WASHED MY HANDS and set about constructing a chocolate orange trifle. Of course, I cant just make the fucking trifle and have done with it. Nope, I have to make crunchy orange zest sprinkles for the top (well, I DID have the oven on anyway for the beef madras) and there�ll be a load of 74% cocoa bitter choc curls too when I can be arsed to go and make them. Flavouring the mascarpone cream with Cr�me de Mandarine for added orangeyness�..Mmmm, think I�ll just stay here and have a naked food fight with BF eat it all myself.
Later
S
x
PS billdersbum has MORE new pics
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