The Weekend!

2007-08-19, 10:23 p.m.
Saturday afternoon. Its raining.

Yesterday we went ice-skating. I haven�t been ice skating for 22 years.

Having done it again for the first time since leg-warmers were last in fashion, I can categorically state that its was the most fun I have had in YEARS! (By �fun�, I mean the sort of stuff that it would be OK to do in front of elderly relatives. I don�t mean the �other� kind of �fun� which usually involves one or more of:

the removal of some garments
swigging cheap whisky from the bottle
standing on a table amongst cat-calls
exchange of bodily fluids
police sirens
shouting �OhhhhhH���FUCK!� about something
chocolate
some kind of abrasion/lesion/bruising which has to be hidden for a couple of days
mild peril
losing a shoe
incomplete recall the following day

Jooj and Treac had never been skating with me before, although they�d been to �temporary� rinks � of the sort which get set up in town squares as part of Seasonal Winter Celebrations. They were both reassuringly rubbish at it. I was FABULOUS! I had my doubts that I would be able to remember how to do it after so many years, but within about 20 seconds I was swooshing around like Tonya Harding (obviously punching anyone in the face who had the temerity to get in my way). Jooj tried to get some photos of me but I was �going waaaaaay too fast�.

How.

Cool.

Am.

I.

Jooj had a friend, J, around this afternoon. They wanted to watch A Fish Called Wanda. I still had my reservations as it IS a 15 cert (Mel � I�d forgotten about the torture until you mentioned it, but it turned out she�s already seen that bit on TV somewhen! I wouldn�t let Treacle watch it.). Anyway, I said they couldn�t watch it. Then they whined a bit. Normally that wouldn�t work but then I remembered the last time J came around, she brought a DVD with her and they settled down to watch it before Id had a chance to find out what it was. It was Rocky Horror Picture Show.

I figured if J�s folks are OK with her watching that, then Lady Haden Guest screeching �Are you FUCKING INSANE?� and the many and varied caninicides probably wouldn�t have too much effect. I asked Jooj what she thought of it afterwards. She said it was �Cool. And don�t worry about the swearing. We hear much worse than that at school. Just cos we hear it doesn�t mean we�re going to go around saying it, mum.� So. That told me, then.

Sunday Evening. Its raining.

Scary Friend phoned yesterday to ask if she could come round and have a look at our building works. She works at the builders merchants where we�re getting our supplies from so I guessed she was making sure we were spending our money wisely. She turned up with a bottle of wine and Her Husband Bob at around 7.30.

We�d had dinner so it was a low maintenance visit for me. I figured they�d visit for an hour or so and then go home.

By 1am Scary Friend and Her Husband Bob had drunk three bottles of wine, Id made some kind of tapas supper (using up all the old bits of nothing from the fridge � spicy sausage, cornichons, baby pickled onions, cheese, cornets of ham blah blah blah), Id drunk a half bottle of whisky. BF had laughed so much at something HerHusbandBob said that he gave himself a face ache and me and Scary Friend had looked at wedding dresses online and decided I *probably* shouldn�t wear white.

After they�d gone, I realised I was much too drunk to smoke the joint BF had rolled so I took my meds (swigged em down with the last of the whisky) and was drooling on the pillow before BF had even finished locking up. Actually, I retract that bit about drooling. I was peacefully sleeping, with a beatific look on my face If I HAD hair that could tumble, it would�ve been tumbling�..tumbling�..ummmm *struggles to think of adverb to make hair sound gorgeous and not at all like Bart Simpson or Suggs from Madness*��well anyway, it would�ve been tumbling *mumble*-ly across the pillow. BF would, naturally have slipped into bed beside me, tenderly kissing the end of my tiny wee nosey and whispering �Goodnight, my beautiful princess.� He would NOT have leaped under the covers muttering �Fucking Hell its FREEZING� before spooning up to me and wedging his cock between my bumcheeks for warmth.

Had to get up early this morning as we were off to jolly old Warwick Castle.

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It was fab. Jooj and Treacle really enjoyed it � even tho it pissed down most of the day. We saw jousting

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and archery and birds of prey and went up on the ramparts (530 steps!) and generally had a lovely family time.

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Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

Took a picnic and ate it, stood up, sheltering under some trees!

Oh, and GET THIS! When we were queuing up to get in, a man came rushing up to us and said �You�ve got two kids! Here! Have these! I can�t use them today.� He thrust something into my hand and was gone. When I looked, it was TWO FREE CHILDREN�S TICKETS! Yay! Yay! And double YAY! Add those to the discount vouchers that Shagnasty gave me and that meant we all got to go in for �27 instead of the �60-odd it should have cost.

I didn�t get a chance to thank the guy who gave me the tickets but, dude, I�m REALLY grateful. Thank you very much. I resolve to do a stranger a random act of kindness in return.

Tomorrow Im taking Jooj and Treacle to Brighton Pavilion. Saving a load of money today means I can take them out to lunch tomorrow, too.

My feet are killing me�..but I do actually feel like Im on holiday now.

Later
S
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