Food, Work, Bitching. What else is there?

2007-07-25, 10:21 p.m.
Bill�s been busy with the camera again!

First of all, a big hello to my ARMY�.OK, battalion�.OK, command post�.*sigh*OK, my THREE new readers. You�re all splendid.

As the freezer is still out in the middle of the garden (nowhere to put it because of the building work), I thought now might be a good idea to try to empty it in readiness for the centennial annual defrosting. Of course, these means some creativity is called for in the kitchen, in order to use up all those little bits of�something that have been stored in margarine tubs and frozen for later use. Tonight�s dinner wasn�t too bad � half a bag of frozen prawns, a couple of tiny tuna steaks and the dregs of a bag of sweetcorn = fish pie (or at least the bottom of it, once I�d added some cream sauce). Didn�t have any decent potatoes for making mash to go on the top so I cooked a big bag of Jersey Royals, hit them a bit with a fork, added some grated cheese and made a kind of potato �crumble� on the top. Mmmmm.

A bit of a result on the dessert front too as I not only found some stewed apple but also some blackberries. Whipped up a little cake mixture when I got home from work and a Blackberry and Apple Sponge Pudding appeared as if by magic. Scraped the funny chewy-yet-icy bits off the top of a long-forgotten tub of fruits of the forest frozen yoghurt to go with it and YAY! I am supermum once again (�Cooked dessert? Midweek? How astonishing!�)

Don�t think Ive mentioned how much I hate my fucking awful job for a while, so I�ll just get it over with now. I hate my fucking awful job. Don�t get me wrong, I still get paid shed-loads of money and my new boss is much nicer and more competent than her five predecessors and has given me loads of new tasks far more befitting a Captain of Industry like wot I am, but the job still sucks major league hairy goat balls.

There seems to be a bit of a Useless Cunt Cull going on at the moment, which is always fun for the spectators. So far, Twat has got his sorry arse kicked out been made redundant and Im kind of guessing the person who is on their third disciplinary warning cant be far behind. Just got to get Capt Skiver and The Incredible Sulk to somehow hoist themselves by their own petards and all will be right with the world. I am aware that New Boss Person thinks that both of them are pretty expendable.

Ada continues to be fucking useless, to the extent that I can no longer be bothered to explain things over and over again to her. Now, I just insist that she sends me everything she does in draft form, then I scribble all over it IN RED PEN and give it back. I know its harsh, but when I give someone a task note (to write the 15th standard letter of the day, nothing complicated) with name, address, reference and source written in block caps on it, I kind of expect all those things to be included in the finished letter. If possible. If possible, EVERY time.

Slavey continues to be fucking brilliant. I am trying to think of a way to not give her any maternity leave at all. She could have her baby in the basement canteen room (there�s even a telly in there!) and be back to work before Ive had a chance to say �Does anybody know what I did with my�.?�. Little peasant women have babies whilst working in fields the world over. I cant think why she would want to have, like, a gazillion weeks off. Cant she see I need her much more than some helpless scrap of humanity?

When I left my old job to have Jooj, I couldn�t see why my boss was so fucked off with me. Now I can.

We�ve got some new people at work, too. Most of them are kind of OK in an ineffectual way but there�s this one girl (J) with the STRANGEST body you ever saw. She�s totally top-heavy, but not in a Giant Whangers kind of way. If that was all it was, Id say �there�s this girl at work with Giant Whangers�, but this girl�s just HUGE�from the waist up! Big fat head, big goiter-y chin, wrestler�s arms, giant wobbly belly and boobs which start at the shoulder and extend all the way down almost to navel level. But she�s got a small bottom and normal size legs! Totally bizarre. Especially when you consider that there�s a girl in the same department (A) who, when she�s sitting down, looks quite thin but she�s got a HUGE arse. When the two of them stand side by side, they look like one of those �Flick Over� kids books, where you can have a cowboy head on a ballerina body, with clown shoes. Good job Im gorgeous and can water down the effect of so many mutants in one place.

Went into town with Slavey at lunchtime as she wanted to look for some pre-maternity clothes (stuff you wear when you aren�t quite ready for the navy blue gingham tent but cant quite squeeze into your regular clothes). She bought one t-shirt. I bought a lace blouse, a black crochet evening dress and two pairs of shoes. Oops.

Its Jobs Day in the local paper tomorrow. With any luck I wont be too fucking busy to go and get a copy at lunchtime.

We had airconditioning fitted in our offices the last couple of weeks. Of course, that�s pretty much ensured that the sun hasn�t shone for ONE SECOND since and, in the best tradition of air conditioned buildings, everyone�s got colds and sore throats now. Maybe its legionnaires disease. Wonder how long my doc would sign me off for if I had that. memo to self: Google Legionnaires Disease and make list of symptoms. Cross reference against list of ailments I am currently able to fake.

I have spoken to the kind people at BeeTee and they have put a cal bar on my home phone to stop Jez phoning me. So far I haven�t had any unpleasant packages in the mail either. When we were both drunk earlier in the week, BF suggested that we start phoning Jez in the middle of the night and see how he likes it. Just for a millisecond I thought �Hell. Why not!� but good sense prevailed. If he did not have mental health issues I could totally see the merits in it but, much as he pisses me off and makes me upset, it would just be�well�.unkind. Thanks for all your supportive messages btw, you guys are da BOMB.

Gossiping about wedding flowers at work today I was struck with the sudden urge to phone BF and tell him how much I love him and that I don�t mean it when I am horrible to him and speak to him like he�s retarded. Don�t worry, I fought the urge. Thought about it again when I got home from work but, on finding that he had bought twelve cans of lager and forgotten to get a pint of milk, I once again resisted the temptation to do anything other than sneer and tut.

I might kiss him a bit when he gets home from the pub and see if I can pass my cold on. I could do with getting rid of it before tomorrow night as Im teaching at 6.30 and cant sing anything other than Shakespears Sister covers (and only Siobhan�s part!) at the mo. BF has lined me up with another pupil. At this rate I will be able to entirely give up my shitty job and concentrate instead on getting people to breathe properly when covering Marlene on The Wall. I reckon (at the pathetically small hourly rate I charge for my teaching �expertise�) I only need another 51 pupils a week to cover what I earn at the moment. *sigh*

That�s it. Im done.

Whisky DOES have antibacterial/antiviral properties, doesn�t it?

See you in a bit.

Later
S
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