Me: Really? I only know one "Girl With That First Name" from Uncle SB's class. That's "Girl with Unfortunate Surname which rhymes with a swear word".
Stepfordbro and I are only a year and a half apart in age - most of his friends from school were my friends, and vice versa. Of course, I immediately get on the phone to StepfordBro who is stuck in a traffic jam on his way home from work and is feeling a bit grumpy.
Me: Dude! When was the last time you saw Girlie Swearword?
Stepfordbro: Fuck knows! 20 years ago? She moved away, got married or something.
Me: Can you remember what she looked like last time you saw her?
Stepfordbro: Yeh. Skinny thing. Strawberry blonde.
Me *doing funny little dance*: Guess what dude. She's got divorced, moved back to WifeSwapVille and is dating Shagnasty.
Stepfordbro: No WAYYY!
Me: Way, dude.
Stepfordbro: HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA! That's cheered me right up.
Me: ?
Stepfordbro: Good luck to him, the poor sod. She's a FUCKING BITCH!
Me: Noooooo!
Stepfordbro: Hell, yeh! He'll have his fucking work cut out with that one. She'll have her own way or she'll have his head on a fucking PLATE.
If, dear readers, you were wondering what significance this look on my face has, its a look of absolute GLEE!