Bad Good Bad Good Bad GOOOOOD!!!
2007-04-25, 9:53 p.m.
TUESDAYIm not supposed to be here. Im supposed to be in the kitchen with my sewing stuff all spread around, making a cloak for Nice IT Guy�s girlfriend. NITG and his girlfriend do role play games�awwww, not THAT sort! They run around the countryside dressed in faintly piratical fashion, dispatching baddies with a swish of their cutlasses and with firearms which go KaBOOOOOOF instead of dl-l-l-l-l-l-l-laaaa. Then it appears to be back to camp for carousing and swigging of mead (have you ever had mead? It tastes LOVELY, but fucking HELL does it get you hammered!).
Anyway, NITG has a ponytail and wears boots and is suitably Plunkett and McLain-ish. NITG�s girlfriend is a little Goth-y, plumpish gorgeous creature and now she has a (half-finished!) midnight blue cloak, with silvery mermaidy glittery lining and silver braid and big sorcerer�s sleeves and a hood and everything. Or, she will have when I stop doing this and start doing that again.
Jooj has a severe case of Garment Envy and has been lovingly stroking the various bits of cloak in all its stages of construction. If she still harbours Goth tendencies when she�s old enough to go out with boys in the evening and everything, I will make her one. She�ll scare the population of Chigley half to death. And she�ll be nice and warm in case its chilly.
The weekend was pretty pleasant, all told. The kids were at Shagnasty�s so we�all went down to Bournemouth the see Hayseed Dixie . We�ve seen them before and they were just as ace as last time, with some new songs too. Check them out if you like music to jump up and down to when you�re drunk.
Slavey and her BF came with us and we met up with NITG and his GF when we got there. There wasn�t time for dinner so we were all starving � if we�d known there were two support bands we might�ve gone off to get something to eat�.but we didn�t. BF and Slavey�s BF (A) are both big drinkers. Slavey was on a mission to get wasted. I was driving � so was NITG�s girlfriend. That just left NITG. He�s not a big drinker. He�s a lightweight. When we came out of the gig he was so drunk that he hugged us all (colleagues included � even those who outrank him!) and was last seen swaying slightly in front of KFC. Next morning I had to go into the office to pick up some stuff Id forgotten. I was expecting to see NITG there as he was on a work-rota (Yay for being management, I NEVER have to work Saturdays!) but Quiet IT Guy was there in his place. Apparently NITG was �feeling poorly�. I couldn�t stop myself � I laughed my bloody head off and immediately spilled the beans:
Me: Dude! He was ARSEHOLED!
Quiet IT Guy: (concerned) Oh dear! How much had he had?
Me: Ummm, dunno. Six pints? Maybe seven?
QITG: Oh deeeeeeear.
Me: Is that bad, then?
QITG: Ummmmm�..he usually stops after about two�.he�s not very �good� with drink.
I am grown up enough to feel very sorry for NITG, and worried that we might have done him some severe damage, but he was in work on Monday and he was fine (if sheepish) and confessed that his nickname at college had been �Johnnie Two Pints�.
Saturday BF and I mooched about for a bit and, when he went out for a pint at lunchtime, I texted him a picture of my tits. (On Monday morning I sent the same picture to Smash, but that�s a different story!). Went to �the crap pub with the good food� again and had their �Lunchtime Pizza Deal� as we weren�t very hungry. BIG MISTAKE! Six portions of garlic bread, a BIG bowl of chips and a 12� pizza with pepperoni, CHUNKS of gammon ham, red onions, and chilli con carne later, we were so stuffed that we didn�t have ANYTHING else to eat until SUNDAY AFTERNOON. And the whole lot was �6.95. B�HARR-G�HINNNNN!
Spent Saturday night getting horribly drunk in the workies, then went home and had astonishingly noisy sex which left us both shell-shocked and panting � our bedroom looked like a scene from a Channel 4 documentary about the evils of the sex trade; damp sheets, overwhelming smell of weed and Durex play, so many sex toys on the bedside cabinet that it looked like a diorama of Easter Island and two middle aged wastrels (one in an assortment of �dressing up clothes�) sprawled comatose in slack-jawed, spunk splattered reverie in the middle of it all. All it needed was Andrew Lincoln�s concerned voice-over inviting us all to �see how their sordid addiction to pleasures of the flesh has totally destroyed this nice middle class couple and their delightful home�.
Sunday we went conservatory hunting. Found one, liked it, looked at a load more, went back to the first one to get a price.
Monday at work, BF called me to say the one we liked was about 30% cheaper than the others and would I go over after work and see they guy again. Zoomed over there, wrote a cheque for the deposit and BF is going to the planning office on Friday to put the application for planning in. Squeeeeeee!
WEDNESDAY
Family dilemma #763548926. BF had some money from his mum�s estate which was supposed to be given to some neighbours and a couple of other people who had helped her out before she died. We had it in our savings account. We�d meant to hand it over to the beneficiaries but hadn�t quite got around to it.
One day a couple of months ago, during a row about something else, Suze said �And you haven�t even passed on that money which mum left!�
Next day I went to the bank and drew out the whole lot (�7000/$14,000) � that�s �5000 for the neighbours and �1000 each for two kind souls. BF was still really mad at Suze so he put it in a big envelope and went round to her house to drop it off. When he got there she was out so he let himself in with the spare key and, finding Suze�s boyfriend asleep on the couch, left the money on the table. Knowing Suze was also still mad at him, too, BF didn�t expect to hear much from her. She�d already said she didn�t want BF around when she gave the money to the neighbours � in fact, she said �they never liked you anyway, I don�t see why you have to be there!�
A few weeks later, when Suze said she was getting a new car, we said bad things about her as we still hadn�t heard anything about her handing the money over. I told BF that his conscience was clear � what Suze did with the mother�s bequest was on HER conscience.
Last night, Suze asked BF for �the rest of the money� to give to the two other beneficiaries. BF said he�d already given it to her. She said he�d only given her the money for the neighbour. She said she�d given the envelope with the neighbour�s money in it, to the neighbour. BF said ��..ALL the money was in there, Suze�.
Suze went crazy at BF, saying she hadn�t asked for ALL the money, just the neighbour�s part. She hadn�t looked in the envelope and had just handed the whole lot over, without checking the amount at all. She went and asked the neighbour how much he�d had (YES! She DID!). He said �6000.
We�re �1000 down. Suze accuses BF of taking it. BF explains that the money bags came straight from the bank and were sealed. Neighbour dude says only one bag was sealed (the one with �5000 in it), the other one was open.
Suze is hysterical. Anyone care to hazard a guess at how this might pan out?
WEDNESDAY NIGHT
When I got in, BF was teaching. I made sausage and mash and when he finished teaching we all sat down to dinner together. BF was still stressed out about Suze and the money but it was a nice dinner-time. After dinner I went into the studio to check on some emails and could hear BF and Jooj and Treacle mucking about in the kitchen. Then it went all quiet. After about ten minutes I went to see what they were doing. They were all still sat at the table. Jooj was doing her homework, BF was looking at a sewing pattern instruction sheet (!), and Treacle was reading some promotional literature on conservatories (!!!!). In my place at the table was a little red box. In the little red box was
MY ENGAGEMENT RING!!!!
I am Soooooooo delighted with it � it is even nicer than I could possibly have hoped � altogether more sparkly and diamondy and utterly fabulous and, as you can see, almost IDENTICAL to this one . As it came halfway around the world to get here and I am so VERY pleased with it, I can heartily recommend these guys Go see � Buy something lovely � Just don�t be in a rush! Oh, and even WITH the import tax (fucking cheek!) it was still about half the price of a similar one (with smaller diamonds) in the UK.
Ooooh, I feel like a proper fianc�e now.
*sigh*
Blowjobs will be dispensed.
(The two aren�t connected, I just feel like bestowing!)
Later