mostly travellers tales
2006-09-27, 8:09 p.m.
Just catching up on a bit of stuff.First off, here's a picture of wee Treacle playing at Carney-Girl and pretending to be just about to be carried away by �50 worth of helium balloons left over from mummy's party.
Last Friday the girls both had inset days so I took the day off and took them to L0ngleat. They�d both been before but it was so long ago that they�d both forgotten. Despite the lovely weather we�ve been having lately, it absolutely chucked down pretty much all day long. The animals mostly sulked under trees which didnt make for very good photo-opportunities but we did go in the butterfly house and get these:
...had a bit of a picnic once the weather eased off a bit and made sure we got the sort of tickets where we can go back another day to look around the house. At nearly �70 quid for the four of us, its not cheap, but its only an hour's drive away and if we go back and "do the house" on another day we can at least get two outings out of it. BFs not interested in seeing the house so I'll take Mater, or a girlfriend or something. Shagnasty came with me last time......
Anyone wanna come see L0ngleat House?
Sunday we drove up to Hertfordshire to look at a car I'd seen advertised. I had a little test drive and it all looked very nice - even tho I drove like a 95year old crippled lady in one of those motorised buggies. The owner was just looking at me with a pitying look on his face. It was a kind of "are you SURE you know how to drive?" look. In the end I had to swap with him and let him zoom around in it because I was getting so stressed out about it. I dont think it helped that BF had phoned up to ask to go see it and had said "its a birthday present for my girlfriend" so the people selling thought he was buying it for me. They didnt peak to me at all really, and addressed every comment to BF. They obviously thought I was just a bimbo-derr-brain and that he was SERIOUSLY rich. Hmmmm.
Anyway, we did some haggling and I agreed to buy it so after work Monday I went up on the train and picked it up. When I got on, the train was quite busy but I could see some space at the far end of the carriage - one set of "table seats" (four seats with a table in between? Cant think of a way to describe them!) completely free, and one set occupied - I could just see the top of a head and some closed eyes peeping out into the aisle.
I thought, "I'll sit there, opposite that sleeping bloke."
Sadly, i didnt notice until I sat down that "That sleeping bloke" was shirtless, shoeless, heavily tattooed, covered in slash marks and ab-so-fucking-lutely WANKERED. The table was littered with empty export cans (and a two litre bottle of Dr Pepper). Just after I sat down, he woke up/came to. I spent an hour making small talk with a drunk, smelly ("d'you mind if I take my socks off, love?"), self-harming (the scars), homeless, militant christian. Apart from the smell, which resulted in me holding my breath from Southampton to Woking, he was actually quite entertaining, once I'd worked out that he wasnt actualy blind, he just couldnt open his eyes beyond slits cos he was too damn drunk and that he wasnt foreign, he was just having difficulty in enunciating clearly due to temporary numbing of the speech organs caused by the 95squillion cans of export he'd necked. Either that or he was a guitarist. Same thing.
At one point, he found an extra pair of shoes in his bag which somebody (his nan, I found out later)had thoughtfully stuffed with a selection of useful items, each to be produced with a flourish (and a stagger and some wrestling with finding the right word to describe them). Thus we passed a merry time:
Heeeeeee! Toothpaste! Looka this! *bangs hand on window whilst waving toothpaste* Ow FUCK! Oh, sorry love. Got some of THIS! *knocks lid off deodorant can and under table* Fuckit. Sorry, love. *bangs head on table, retreiving lid* Fuckit. Now Ive banged me head. Look! This stuff. Ummmm. Anyway, it stops me stinking. Do I stink? Sorry, love, I stink, dont I? Wossthis? Awww, a tooooth-thingy. Tooth...tooth...*waves toothpaste again* goes with THIS! Awww, my nan, she gets this stuff. She got these shoes for me. etc etc.
He got off at Woking. Id like to think it livened the place up a bit.
I carried on to Bishops Stortford where I took possession of my new motor. Then I drove the fucker home, in the dark, in the rain. 130 miles to get used to the controls, the steering, the handling etc etc etc. by the time I got home I was positively BEAMING and still beaming yesterday when BF took these photos:
LOOK
AT
MY
NEW
CARRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!
.....just what I wanted.
I absolutely CANNOT believe that it is mine. I keep expecting someone to come tap me on the shoulder and say "C'mon, get out now, somebody else is waiting for a go. Move along now."
Until they do, I shall carry on beaming.