Saturday I took her off to meet Sis for a Special Birthday treat (dropping Jooj off at her mate�s on the way and nipping into Tesco on the way back). She went to the cinema to see The Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe and then off to some pottery painting place to paint some pottery. She fell asleep in the car on the way back so I guess she had a good time.
I made birthday cake � chocolate AND vanilla with special glittery icing, as befitting the Goddess of All Fairy Princesses.
Sunday was the party proper, with hordes of gorgeous fairy princess types, resplendent in tiaras, dressing-up dresses and diamante party shoes. One particularly gorgeous creature announced to the whole room "Ive got my nightie on because my dressing-up dresses were just TOO itchy" to nods of affirmation all around. Why ARE dressing up dresses so itchy? Treacle had a lovely new one courtesy of Uncle Ad but had to wear her vest underneath to counteract the itchiness. It was a spiffing dress tho, continuing the Narnia theme in all its Ice Queeniness and had a matching tiara, shoulder rap thingy AND furry handwarmer which meant Treacle could go around all day saying "Do you want to see my lovely muff?". Her mother�s daughter, that one!
Good Queen Stepfie wore her nicest sequinned cardi, with fairy wings over the top and a splendid tiara with glittery bits AND pink marabou. We girlies all took a turn with the glitter hairspray and then had to shuffle round the kitchen in our socks because it was all over the floor and we couldn�t think of a better way of cleaning it up that didn�t involve getting down on our hands and knees and scrubbing.
BF was jolly into everything and helped out tremendously with the "Pin the Crown on the Princess" and the Pass the Parcel and all those kind of things. Shagnasty turned up too and ate most of the sausage rolls but resolutely refused a beer or a cup of tea or any kind of joining in much apart from being at the bottom of a serious case of BUNNNDDDLLLE! on the sofa (I didn�t rescue him). Actually, having Shagnasty AND BF there was a bit freaky for the kids whose folks aren�t divorced, as they couldn�t work out the logistics at all. The Nightie Wearing Princess settled on the idea that BF was some kind of over-large Children�s Entertainer and began dissing him and needing a bit of a slap, but then she fell down the stairs and after a bit of a cuddle turned into something quite sweet, especially when BF let her play his guitar (the expensive new one) � as clarification I would point out that he had been providing the backing track to which all the Bratz Rock Angelz dolls were miming on their Performance Stage � they had no choice, the poor things, their guitar strings are painted on.
We had a little disco with Queen Stepfie leading the dancing (jump IN, jump OUT, turn AROUND, shake your BOTTY, do George MICHAEL etc etc) until they were all hot and sweaty and had to have intravenous Ribena.
When they�d all gone home (with party bags crammed with sweeties and glitter bangles and ANOTHER tiara), the Runts showed up with a ginormous present for Treacle � a basketball hoop (with the back board and everything, plus an huge bag of fixing nails and screws and brackets and stuff. I suspect its going to pull the back of the house off once its affixed).
Once Jooj and Treacle had gone to bed, BF and I sat in the kitchen and tried to have a chat but we were too knackered and we�d smoked a joint by then so there wasn�t anything very cerebral going on. The main topic of conversation was the rich diversity of noises that farts can make, depending on the clothing being worn and the activity taking place. (I realised this morning that we�d forgotten the sort of fart that seems to come out in a spherical shape and always takes the fartee by surprise. BF was a bit worse for wear as I was explaining the phenomenon this morning but he still managed a "/ �rockin� type sign (or however you type it) and some head nodding in acknowledgement of a fart-type correctly classified.)
I had glitter all over my hands from running them through my hair and BF was making whiny noises about "I supposed Im going to be covered in bloody glitter in the morning then", so I had to promise to wash my hands before retiring to the boudoir. I was most comforted to notice, as he was getting out of bed this morning, that he didn�t have any glitter stuck to his face at all. But he did have a fantastically twinkling knob. Har har.
Treacle and Jooj got up this morning and were mightily impressed that the Christmas tree had miraculously assembled and decorated itself during the night and Treacle was delighted with her Barbie Cinderella Castle (couldn�t give it to her yesterday as its her actually really properly birthday today � Yay for being 6!). I left BF to deal with the Easy Home Assembly bit and went off to work. The girls are at Shagnasty�s now til Wednesday so I might have to have a little play with it later (just in the interests of product testing y�understand).
Work is heinous at the mo. Its one of our busiest times so things can get a bit fraught. Slave and I found a Build a Snowman game on t�internet and spent some time making snowmen. Mine was a Goth Rock God, with a top hat and shades. She did a kind of stripper one with big boobies and too much lipstick. I think the things she used for nipples were supposed to be noses but we laughed anyway. I got a ten quid Marks and Spencer voucher and a ginormous tin of choccies from one of our suppliers. I shall share the sweeties, of course, but the voucher is in my purse. I never really go to Marks and Spencer as it personifies everything I hated about my former life. I will save the token and use it to buy something for someone very dull. Or maybe just go to the food hall and get sticky toffee puddings (which arent as nice as home-made but, hell, free cake is free cake!)
We have a temp on reception this week � she got a bit muddled up with the phone list and thought that Slave was the boss and I was the�umm� slave. I assume she just got muddled and that it was nothing to do with the fact that I had a pink trousers suit on with stripy socks and was shedding clouds of glitter from my silly hairdo wherever I went. Slave had a neat black skirt and crisp white blouse.
Got home and plopped into a chair with a plate of toast on my lap to watch Tracy Beaker.
I think my car�s a bit sick. Its making ClongClongClong noises if I corner at high speed and the airbag light came on while I was driving home today and I hadnt even HIT any trees. The ClongClongClonging might be something rolling about in the boot but I�ll have to investigate tomorrow (when its light). Its just got to last another nine short months til I get my lovely birthday pressie new car treat-type thing. Oh I so hope it makes it. I bought it cut-price from BiL when I was first divorced and he gulps every time he sees how Ive destroyed it. Im sorry BiL. I just didnt love it enough � its silver, and it�s a Ford and it�s a pile of shit and everyone says how it doesn�t suit me and people snigger when they have to get in it. THAT�s why its full of crisp wrappers and stray articles of clothing and stuff we picked up at the beach last summer. Oh, roll on September.
Just waiting for BF to finish teaching and then its off to the jolly old pub. Ive had a bath so the glitter�s mostly gone now � well, to tell the truth, it did wash out of my hair but it formed itself into a big glitter slick on top of the water so when I finally climbed out of the tub it just deposited itself in a nice filmy layer over the rest of my body. I tried rubbing it off onto the towel but it was pretty well stuck. I shall try and rub some more off on BF tonight whilst we�re doing the "kids are away Monday night thing" � the Clitler* has been manicured in readiness for the horniness tsunami that comes rolling towards the shore whenever the kids are away, destroying everything in its path (sleep, general boundaries of taste and decency, boxes full of AA batteries, expensive undies, etc etc). Sometimes I just LOVE being divorced.
Oh, BTW, my teensy weensy little moan about getting Christmas presents from porn sites appears to have paid off as there are HUNDREDS of gifts under the tree already and ALL FOR ME!!! They cant all be made of latex and buckles can they?
Tomorrow Im tackling the first wave of the Christmas Grocery Shopping *sobs uncontrollably and wipes nose on sleeve*. BF has promised to track down any items I cant manage to get tomorrow so I think I�ll just buy a case of beer and give him the list (A4, two columns!). We have BFs ma (otherwise known as Flaming June) coming for lunch on Christmas Day and then the wee girlies and The Runts will be here for the full turkey extravaganza on Boxing Day.
Cook, Stepfie! Cook!
* Clitler n. : style of pube-wear favoured by porn stars; pretty much all off except an inch square at the front in the style of a Nazi dictator�s moustache