Monday blues (and nits!)

2005-11-07, 11:13 p.m.
My life just gets better and better. Struggled into work today under the full weight of my cough and cold combo as I had a big fat management meeting this afternoon which it seemed imprudent to miss, bearing in mind my current credibility problems and all.

Made it through the day OK, I guess, although listening to Capt Skiver (and others) bitching about me spreading germs around was doing nothing to improve my temper (Slave did say "You give that to me and I�ll have to kill you" which was, at least, a bit more original). Did the whole meeting thing in a haze of coughing, sneezing and nose blowing. Still it seemed to go quite well and I made as many sensible contributions as I could, bearing in mind they�ve had these meetings without me for some time now so Im playing catch-up Big Time. I have a little project to work on which will make me very unpopular with the Field Staff � no big deal there as I am already unpopular with the Field Staff. Mostly by virtue of not having a penis, I think. (Sorry. That might need a bit of clarification. I THINK that I am unpopular with the Field Staff because I am a big girly. I am fully aware that I DO NOT have a penis. There is no ambiguity on that front. God, now Im making it worse. Oh, figure it out for yourselves, you�re all fairly smart).

The big bombshell came right at the end tho, when apropos of nothing at all the General Manager mentioned his retirement in the Spring. Everyone else just nodded and carried on talking � my mouth clanged open and I think I went "Whu? Whu? Whu?". Apparently its top secret (which is why I didn�t know before; not important enough), but more than that, it�s a bloody tragedy as he is a top bloke and fab ally in All Things Really Important at Twat Inc. How I didn�t blub right there and then, I don�t know.

Bought nit shampoo at lunchtime and have just spent a merry hour round at Shagnasty�s de-lousing my kids. Shagnasty�s housemate ate fish and chips throughout the proceedings which I did find a bit gross (or that may have just been the amount of ketchup he was using) and Shagnasty watched Spin City. Treacle seems miraculously louse-free which had me breathing sighs of relief as she has waist length hair which doesn�t take kindly to a comb of any sort, particularly one with very close together, pointy teeth.

Jooj was, as ever, totally cool about the whole thing and we kept up a Mummy/Daughter running commentary on the dimensions and tenacity of said creatures:

"Look at that big fat bastard!"
"Is it dead?"
"No, look, its clutching its little fat guts and going "Aaaargh! Argh! Ive been poisoned".
"WooHoo! Look at that massive one!"
"That�s not massive, its been splatted with the comb � its twice the length it was when it was alive!"

etc etc, in a jolly disgusting way. Mercifully, Shagnasty was too engrossed in the TV (no change there, then) to hear our bad language. Or to see me making nose-wrinkly faces while casting my gaze over his man boobs and burgeoning take-away gut. Ick. And he had slippers on.

Jooj waited until just as I was about to leave before she dropped her own little bombshell. She had taken her party invites to school today and had handed them out. They had been carefully worded as she wanted to invite Spawn of MiniMe (don�t have a problem with that, they are just kids) so didn�t include our address or anything like that � look what happened last time MiniMe got a look at my house/car/lifestyle/man. I�d offered to take the kids home from school with me and they could be collected from the cinema after the film finished. I�d left a mobile number (same one Ive had for 100 years) in case one of the other parents needed to contact me.

Jooj says, "Spawn lost her invitation so Ive given her our home phone number so her mum can call you." As I had already explained to Jooj why the invitations didn�t have our home address/tel num on, it was all I could do to not shriek "YOU TOLD HER TO DO WHAAAAATTTTT!!!!!" and then kill her with one swipe of my razor claw (or something). Instead, I think I said ,"Oh Jooj, I really would rather she didn�t have our phone number. I don�t really want her ringing me at home � it could be a bit embarrassing � and what if BF answers the phone?"

Now, I KNOW its all pretty much ancient history now, but I just don�t want THAT WOMAN anywhere near me (or mine). I don�t want her to know where I live, where I work, what I do. Nothing. Not even what I look like now. As far as I know, she�s never seen BF and I like it that way. Oh, tell me Im being oversensitive. DO! At least this way, with zero contact, I can put her to the back of my mind and not have to think about the terrible things she did. Im not 15 any more so calling her out in the playground and kicking her head in isnt really an option and I just cant bear the self-satisfied tone in her voice or look on her face as she�s thinking "Ha ha, SHE said she�d never speak to me again. Now she HAS to. AND she has to be NICE". Boo hoo for me. Comments especially welcome on this one please.

PS I got some new medicine (not the one with chloroform in, that was scaring me a bit). This one is for irritating tickly coughs. It has the consistency of oysters. And smells of creosote. Yum Yum.




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