Bogies! (Boogers, for the transatlantically located)
2014-12-18, 11:01 a.m.
Mornin� All!Hadnt realised how long its been since I updated � golly gosh, what a slacker I am!
Ive been a bit poorly this week � nothing serious, just got a cold and cough and lost my voice. Still been struggling ion to work tho, as Im a fucking legend (I am! Year 9 told me so!) and also I didn�t wish to miss the Staff Panto on Tuesday. Yes! That�s really a thing. The teachers and support staff get together and after many weeks of�several�two rehearsals, they produce and perform a full traditional pantomime, complete with musical numbers and costumes and custard pies and men in tights and everything. They cast the damn thing while I was at home after my surgery so I only got to be in the �Ensemble� � wearing a variety of hats as, variously, a villager, sailor, dancing maiden etc etc. At the time I was disappointed at not getting a decent/singing role but as I had no voice from Sunday last week, I guess it was just as well that I was only required to ham it up and be amusing.
It�s a shame that the Ensemble is usually made up of the people who either don�t want to be there or who cant act, as it makes for a much better performance overall if the ensemble are really going for it. One of my Year 11s told me afterwards � �your dancing was hilarious, Miss. Everyone else was just�.well�.normal!� Im taking that as a compliment as, yes, my dancing IS hilarious, thank you and also it�s a kind of validation that even a crappy part can be done with gusto. Insert platitude about �small parts/small actors� here.
Kids at school have been trying to make me stay home all week, mostly because I really haven�t been able to speak and they�ve had to be a lot quieter than they would normally want to be, just to be able to hear what I was saying. They�ve got their wish today as, after dragging my sorry arse to Amazingstoke all damn week, this morning�s pre-school routine was the last straw.
Monday/Tuesday/Wednesday: Cough, sneeze, coffee, cough, sneeze, get in car, go to work.
Today: COUGHCOUGHcoffeeCOUGHCOUGHCOUGHCOUGH/omigod I cant breathe, my whole head is filling up with snot, Im going to drown/COUGHCOUGHCOUGHCOUGH��.*gasp*�.PUKE!!!!......phone in sick.
I know its TMI but luckily I was in the kitchen at the time and hanging on to the sink for grim death as I went puce-faced and weak-kneed from the coughing. That meant I was in the right place to puke�straight into the waste disposal! *shakes head*
I cant help thinking that was both unutterably gross and impeccably fortuitous as a half-decent swoosh of the hot tap and a glug of bleach and harmony (and clean kitchen) were restored. Had I still been in bed or (heaven forfend) in the car halfway up the A30, things could�ve been a lot worse, huh? And its not a scenario Id care to repeat in front of a classroom of kids either, tbh.
I�ll go in tomorrow, I expect, as it�s the last day of term and we finish at 12.15. Ive also only got one lesson to teach tomorrow (nb For �teach�, read �watch a video�) and then it�s a whole school assembly with cabaret items and the Christmas Song, which is another Grapetree High tradition that I wholeheartedly approve of. Each school department records � with video accompaniment! - a couple of lines of a song (with varying degrees of success) and then they splice the whole sorry mess together for the amusement of the student body.
The English Dept don�t usually take part as they are a bunch of miseries but this year they reckoned without Me (new, can sing, likes to show off) and V (new, cant sing, is Headmaster�s wife so HAS to take part) who wholeheartedly took the bull by its festive horns and proper went for it. We even did that �Abba Head Turn� thing and spent far longer than should have been required learning how to say �Merry Christmas Everyone� in sign language ( I don�t know why we thought that was necessary, but we did). If you want to do it too, then you shall! Look:
Just realised that this song may not have made it across the pond, so thought I�d better share it with y�all now. Cos, truly, nothing says Christmas like a middle aged Welshman in a fairisle sweater, making a tit of himself
Speaking of festivities, we�ummm�haven�t actually�.yet�.nothing����..
Its like that far corner of the Selfish Giant�s garden here at the Palace of Many Sins. The whole of the rest of the street is twinkly as fuck resplendent in its Christmassy garb but we�ve not actually even got as far as finding the boxes of decorations in the loft yet. We DID have lights outside (
) but we left them up last year because we are lazy-arses so we could have them for parties, too, so of course when we came to plug them in last weekend they had all filled up with rainwater and only about five of them still worked. Unlike Christmas lights in the olden days, they are fancy-schmancy LED ones which are sealed units (not sealed from rainwater! Hah!) and you cant change the damn lightbulbs in them. L had to get up on the ladder and take them all down. It hurt his heart to throw them all in the bin but that�s what you get for making pathetic excuses for not going up a ladder in January (its too windy/rainy/late/early/dark/bright. Im too tired/drunk/sick/busy/apathetic/scared of heights).
Im sure we�ll get around to doing the whole Christmas tree/presents/festivities thing eventually, possibly at the weekend once we have got Treacle�s birthday out of the way. Strange to think that when I started this diary she was almost 6 and now she�s going to be FIFTEEN! How weird is that? � that she got a whole nine years older and yet I stayed exactly the same! She�s off to her daddie�s tomorrow so Imma drag myself off my sickbed tonight and take her out to dinner. She�s chosen a diner-type place and the menu isn�t exactly �diet friendly�. I would feel apprehensive about this but I cant taste anything at the moment so doubt I will over-indulge.
Just had a piece of toast. Tasted like balsa wood. *sad face*
Later
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