Chirpier chirpier cheep cheep!
2012-02-07, 9:20 p.m.
WednesdayOh my goodness, I CANNOT watch any more Bargain Hunt or, as it shall henceforth be known �Put a Fleece Anorak on Me and I�ll Buy Any Old Shite�.
Today is an infinite improvement on yesterday and the day before, as I thought it might be, and I do actually feel relatively restored and about as normal as Im going to get.
Yesterday�s �pampering� was every bit as vile as expected. I might write about it in a bit or I might not as there is a fine line between my pissy attitude spoiling what could have been a pleasant afternoon and an unwieldy rant about do-gooders assuaging their guilt.
Monday
Lemme hear ya say �Oi, slacker! Youre not THAT sick! Now update, you lazy moo!�
Sorry about the protracted absence, dears. As predicted, I started to feel better fairly quickly after that last entry � although there were a few characteristic bouts of �crying about nothing�, �sighing� and �staring into space� but they did pass and now its full steam ahead, back to work today and bring on the next round of hideous misery, please, as I�d like to get it over with.
As I said, back to work today, and I was all about the Big Boys today, teaching year 11 (16 year olds) which means I am able to bring you TWO (count them!) new episodes of
Dumbass Things My Students Say # 11ty bazillion and 11ty bazillion and one
Me: Lucas! Will you get on with some work, please. In a very short space of time you will need to have some certificates with your name on them in order to get on in the world. You will not be able to get by on charm alone.
Lucas (leaning on desk and looking into my eyes): Oh, come on darling, you don�t mean that.
(in a PE lesson � all boys, who would much rather be outside playing sport of some kind)
Brett: Miss, do we have to do Theory today? Can�t we do a Practical instead?
Me: No. Youre too far behind on your coursework. You need to do Theory until you catch up.
Brett: Yeh, but Miss, if you went out on the field and ran off, we could run after you til we catch up.
I love Year 11.
Other things that have been filling me with good cheer of late include discovering the concept of the �snack stadium�. I am guessing these are well known in some parts of the world but those parts of the world tend to be the sorts of places where one can get cheese in a spray can, �World Series� only contains teams from one nation and hideous complications can occur if one attempts to discuss fags, bangs, pants or biscuits. In other, tinier and less significant, parts of the world we can be a bit rubbish when it comes to the celebratory buffet item. To often I have arrived at the buffet table, flimsy cardboard plate in hand, and turned my expectant (and hungry) visage tableward only to be faced with the crushing disappointment of The Party Egg, the flabby vol au vent filled with Campbells condensed mushroom soup (with added slices of slimy
Never have I encountered one of these:
Oh! Isnt it marvellous, dear reader! And see! SEEEE! If you are really hungry you can even make them as-TON-ishingly large
I am almost tempted to have a Superbowl Party, just as an excuse to make one of these noshtastic behemoths! My eternal gratitude to My Senior Moments for introducing me to the concept and putting the idea in my head that I really need to make one of these AWFULLY soon! If you click the linky, you�ll find out how to construct your own snack stadium, with quantities and everything. No, no, don�t thank me!
If you read the people that I read (and if you don�t, you should�.well, most of �em anyway�.ooh, not that one�.no, and don�t read that one either!) you will already know that I have been away on my travels as part of my rest/recuperation/anti-mariticide programme and, on Friday I tootled down to see annanotbob2, in her most fabulous new flat. Omigoodness that is ONE FABULOUS flat. It was all I could do to not shove her out of its portico�ed entrance into the street and take up residence myself, within its gracefully proportioned, high-ceilinged rooms. Honestly, dears, I could bang on for hours about how lovely Anna�s flat is and how much I could DEFFO see me living there, possibly wearing a crinoline.
Anyway. Me and Anna did gossiping and huggy hugs and mooching and eating bread and marmalade and I talked about those stupid pictures I wanted to make and I talked about it so much that Anna actually made me get on and do it, which I most definitely wouldn�t have done without her because I just couldn�t see how to make a start. I think probably Anna opening a tin of pencils and encouraging me to select one helped quite a lot, but I still wouldn�t have done it if she hadn�t been there.
Look! Im doing art!
I keep looking at the picture I started and I can actually see it getting finished now, or at least I am enthusiastic enough about it to actually try. Before I went down to Anna�s it was just making me cry and I didn�t even feel confident enough about what I wanted to do to explain to anyone what the bloody picture was actually OF!
After lunch Anna took a photo for posterity. Or for Diaryland.
I give you Professors Quirrell and Trelawney � one harbouring a hideous evil parasite, the other appearing to be quite mad but turning out to be right all along
There�s some other news about trawling around charity shops with my sis and eating chips in the lych gate of a 12th Century church like a pair of hoodies (except we had our smart coats on. And one glove each so we could hold the chip paper without burning ourselves but could still get to the chips without getting vinegar on our gloves!).
Oh and a bit about going to a gig with L and wearing my wig cos it was a posh place and then having a very awkward conversation with someone about how lovely my hair looked and having to tell her it�ummm�wasn�t my hair.
And about us not actually having any snow yet.
And how me and L have got some weird shit going on that I cant even start to get down on paper but which is making us both miserable and angry and resentful. *makes face* No, Im not ready to talk about that yet.
Im tired. Is it alright if I go now?
Later
S
x
PS *gasp* HOW could I have forgetten to mention that we also went and had drinks (and HUGE amounts of carbs!) with barefootruby, too? Ooops, my bad. We did, and it was jolly pleasant. 'Not Living in Chigley Any More' seems to suit Ruby awfully well : )
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