See! You didnt have to wait long!
2008-08-21, 9:08 p.m.
Here we all are again, then, for no better reason than Wyatt�s getting on my case (no link � he�s locked to all but the favoured few. Like me. Nee Ner) and frankly, its about time.Since I was here last�..umm�..nothing�s happened. Actually a shit-load of nothing has happened, but I know you�re gonna make me tell y�all about it anyways.
I finished off my week-and-a-bit off work just in pootling about with the kids and getting depressed about how I didn�t want to go back to my shitty job.
The kids finally got around to using some of their Christmas presents (!) and spent a nice afternoon doing ceramic painting
12 year old ceramic painting (with oh, so familiar, emogothrocker undertones)
8 year old ceramic painting (altogether a more cheerful dining experience)
On Sunday we�d been invited to Sis and BiL�s for lunch. Sis is off back to Bruges this week and isn�t likely to be back to Blighty until Christmas or thereabouts so it was a good chance to gather the clan for a bit of jollity. Hell, even Stepfordbro pitched up! Sis wouldn�t let me provide any kind of comestible contribution so Treac, Jooj and I made some truffles to go with the post-prandial coffee
Naturally, they are a riot of edible glitter as there�s only one thing better than chocolate, and that�s 
You know it makes sense!
So. We all beetled down to Sussex � drawn by a common purpose: to scoff ourselves silly.
The Chigley contingent arrived early, mostly cos Treacle wanted to help Auntie Sis with the lunch. This seemed mostly to involve going out in the garden with the big scissors and cutting a cucumber
And then spending an inordinate amount of time trying to decide which of Sis� mismatched placed would be best suited to which diner. I got the Villeroy and Boch. This means my daughter thinks Im posh. It also means that she is a total git as it was the smallest plate and I couldn�t get nearly enough food on it.
There were hapjes to start (which included quails eggs, stuffed peppadews and potted shrimp) and then some pork fillet and roast chicken and a big baked vegetable thingie with integral potatoes and green beans out of the garden. Before we�d had a chance to adjust our lycra dining kaftans, there was an assortment of cheeses so pungent that we were all looking to see who�d taken their shoes off, served with homemade fruit and nut bread, then a giant meringuey pud with homegrown plums, vanilla cr�me patissiere and a hot blackberry sauce and THEN, just when we were all groaning with gluttony (and a fair amount of wine � not for me, I was driving!), there was coffee and liqueurs and the, by now, legendary glittery truffles.
Oink!
StepfordPater made a very fetching nose cosy from a petit four case but was too pissed to manage a decent napkin hat
As you can see, it takes real skill to make an Andy Pandy bonnet from a napkin � especially when one uses too little starch in one�s linen. Tut tut on Sis for letting the Stepford clan down with her slovenly ways.
We started eating at 3. At 8.15 I suggested it might be an idea if we stopped, but nobody was really listening.
I applied for a couple of jobs at the weekend, too. Anne Marie came over and helped me with one application which needed far more buzzwords and bollocks applied to it than I was prepared to muster. Luckily, Anne Marie works in HR so she knows all the right wankerese to put in an application. I didn�t understand any of it but apparently it meant �I can do this job. Here�s how. Now give it to me, its mine�. If I get an interview I think I�ll send Anne Marie instead.
Ironically, my finally getting off my arse and applying for some new jobs has coincided with possibly the most pleasant week Ive had at work for a long long time. Please would somebody who has been here a long time remind me of how much Twat Inc makes me want to top myself, before I start thinking that I actually LIKE it there!
Im sure it can only be coincidence that my lightening of mood has coincided with Lady HorsePiss handing in her notice, allegedly to �pursue other avenues�. I bloody well know there�s more to that than meets the eye. Just got to find someone indiscrete enough to spill the beans.
I also start my NVQ4 in Business Admin Management (or something like that) next week. According to the blurb, in an NVQ4 I have to show �Competence that involves the application of knowledge in a broad range of complex, technical or professional work activities performed in a variety of contexts and with a substantial degree of personal responsibility and autonomy. Responsibility for the work of others and the allocation of resources is often present.�
If I could be bothered to find out what that means then I might be slightly concerned. However, with my gung-ho principles and desire to not be studying for the rest of my bloody life, I resolve to bang the wretched thing out in six months if I can (you�re allowed up to 2 years). We shall see�.
It�s a three day weekend with no kids, 2 parties and a night in a restaurant called Gandhi�s Chopsticks (they serve Indian AND Chinese � how clever is THAT!!!). I predict looking like death warmed up when I return to the office on Tuesday.
Oh, and I nicked this from someone � cant remember who. Its obvious what you have to do, so if you want to, go ahead. Answer the questions but you can only use 2 words
1. Where is your cell phone?
Ummm�..Handbag?
2. Your significant other?
well endowed
3. Your hair?
bottle blonde
4. Your brothers?
an accountant
5. Your sisters?
in Bruges
6. Your favorite thing?
enthusiastic shagging
7. Your dream last night?
none. Exhausted
8. Your favorite beverage?
single malt
9. Your dream/goal?
not broke
10. The room you're in?
conservatory/bar
11. Your ex?
duplicitous dullard
12. Your fear?
flying ants
13. Where do you want to be in 10 years?
Chilled. Solvent.
14. Where were you last night?
Bar. Bed.
15. What you're not?
vegetable, mineral
16. Muffins?
English, naturally!
17. One of your wish list items?
new bathroom
18. Where you grew up?
south coast
19. The last thing you did?
made bolognese
20. What are you wearing?
jeans tshirt
21. Your TV?
No thanks
22. Your pets?
ceremoniously interred
23. Your computer?
borrowed laptop
24. Your life?
pretty good
25. Your mood?
anticipatory, horny
26. Missing someone?
No. Crack-shot!
28. Something you're not wearing?
too badly
29. Favorite Place?
right���*there*! ; )
30. Your summer?
raining (again)
31. Love someone?
love EVERYONE!
32. Your favorite colors?
pink�����glitter
33. Last time you laughed
see 32.
34. Last time you cried?
hotel. Manchester
35. Who will repost this?
bored readers!
Speaking of bored readers, you may now all leave. Thank you for your time.
Later
S
x