A View of the Isle of Shite

2007-08-16, 10:28 p.m.

Holiday Day 4

Kind of a better day today. When I woke up, it wasn’t actually raining. I was in the spare room, as BFs post-coital snoring was causing me to harbour homicidal thoughts and I figured it would be best to take myself away to the relative safety of the spare room futon, rather than cave his fucking noisy head in with the heel of a carelessly discarded Manolo.

The girls were already up and were lounging about in front of the TV. BF had his "manual labour" t-shirt on (ie the one with mud stains) and was looking at the digger and dump truck in meaningful ways. I threw on a pair of jeans and sent the girls upstairs to get dressed. By 11 o clock we were off to Lee-on-the-Solent. Sounds picturesque, huh?

From Lee-on-the-Solent beach you can see the twin wonders of the oil refinery AND the Isle of Wight*. I don’t know which of the two I’d prefer to sink Atlantis-like under the waves.

In the best tradition of British beaches in August, it was bloody freezing.

We had a stroll along the shore and then headed for a little café for some refreshment. There used to be a little café, near the play park, which sold cherryade in plastic bottles and hot sausage rolls. Now there’s a swanky bistro, near the play park, which sells lattes and charges £6.95 for burger and chips. Actually, it WAS a giant homemade burger, with Emmental cheese and nice salady stuff and big fat golden chips but still, our ‘little snack’ lunch cost 30 quid. So much for a cheap day out.

After lunch, started back along the beach but, all of a sudden the heavens opened and we had to make a run for it. Dived in the car til it had nearly stopped, then crossed the road for icecreams. There’s nothing that makes it feel quite like summer, like sitting in the car, in the rain, in sweaters and boots, eating icecream.

Got lost on the way home and found…….AN ICE RINK!!!!!

I thought the nearest one was in Basingstoke (which is about 40 miles away) so to find one practically on the doorstep is just FAB.

Guess where we’re going tomorrow?! BF can’t come with us as ice-skating is classed as a ‘dangerous sport’ for those in his profession, but Im sure me and Jooj and Treac will have a jolly old time.

Took Jooj for a haircut this afternoon. She now looks quite pleasant and a lot less emo/Goth/skanky than usual. If she wasn’t wearing an inch and a half of eyeliner, she’d probably be nearly human.

Off to do a bit more shagging now. Seemed to go quite well last night (*waggles eyebrows*), so might be worth another crack at it.

In conversation with BF last night:

Me: I look rough
BF: You’re beautiful to me
Me: You’re retarded. And blind.
BF (holding up his hand to look at fingerprints – a sure sign of ‘measuring blindness’): Hmmm. Cant see my prints there (moves hand) or there (moves had) Ah! There! I can see there!
Me: Hang on then, let me move my head around like that and see if I get better looking when Im out of focus.
BF (as I move my head about in front of him): Umm……..Nope. Still beautiful. Always beautiful.

What a twat.

later
s
x

*Look, I don’t just hate the Isle of Wight for no reason, you know. I lived there for three months and found it to be the most unfriendly, backward shithole of a place Ive even been – and Ive been to some shitholes. If *you guys* (and you know who you are) are looking for a REAL place to play Famous Five, Id suggest the Isle of Wight as perfect. The buses don’t run after 9 o’clock and all conversation stops when you step into a pub.

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