a list - cant be arsed to be more verbose!

2007-07-31, 9:39 p.m.
A list of random stuff:

  • Jooj is having 'Clothing Issues' with Shagnasty. Again. He wants her to have some new clothes "Not black. Not too bright either. Just normal things. Plain things. No writing on them. No weird patterns." Meet Shagnasty, the Amish ex-husband. I shall take her shopping on Sunday for basic t-shirts in pale colours and a denim skirt. She is very upset and has been bad-mouthing Shagnasty to my parents, much to their glee. I will ensure that part of our shopping spree includes yet more W.A.M clothes (Wear At Mum's). She never goes anywhere cool with Shagnasty so it shouldnt matter too much that she looks like Sarah Plain and Tall when she's at his.
  • Tomorrow Jooj and Wee Treacle are off to Sis' house by the seaside for a mini holiday. They're back on Saturday night but then go back to hers next Wednesday for a couple more days. THEY think its a holiday because they are too stoopid to realise that my sis is just 'minding the kids while Im at work'. They'll get to swim in the icy sea and stay up too late. My sis doesnt have kids so she doesnt know what she's 'supposed' to do. She bases her parenting skills on a mixture of Enid Blyton tales and Byker Grove. Thats OK.
  • PJ came round tonight to measure up for the new kitchen. I dont think I can afford one of PJs kitchens. He will take it as a personal affront if I get my kitchen from anywhere else as he has been BFs friend for a hundred years.Ive got the bloke from Bee and Kew coming on Saturday lunchtime.
  • BF just came in from the pub. It is too dark for him to go and look in the summer house for the girls' surf boards. He is going to look for the girls' surfboards because he just HAS to prove a point. Then he is going to measure some brickwork IN THE DARK as he can then irritate fully explain his point to the bricklayer first thing in the morning. He has successfully ruined the last eight of nine days with his constant fannying about over the building projects. He will be UNDER the fucking concrete if he keeps this up
  • Slavey and I discussed childbirth today. She is going with my hypothesis that it actually isnt too bad, especially if you havent read all the books you're supposed to read. They just give you more to worry about. We discussed the pain of a baby ACTUALLY coming out. "It is SUPPOSED to come out there" I said "Its not like its coming out of somewhere it shouldnt. Like out of your nostril or something." "No" she said, "You're right. Its not like PUKING one out. That would REALLY hurt." Im not sure she's quite ready to be a mother.
  • Call Centre Kelly sent me one of those emails which was a poem about saying how much you love your friends while you have the chance, just in case they die before you get a chance to see them again. I emailed back asking her if she could cut my hair this week sometime. She didnt reply. I hope she's not dead, cos my hair's getting really bushy.
  • Best Stalker Present EVER arrived today. A piece of white paper, cut to the size of a postcard. On one side "To BF and Stepfie" and our address, and a �1 coin sellotaped where the stamp should be. On the other side: "Dear Stepfie and BF, This is to let you know that the agony is over. I have found the woman I am looking for. Her name is Nensha and she's Jewish. It's perfect because I am a total Nazi. Jez"

    The post office had generously forwarded it on to me as the fucking nutcase had just put that (the bit of paper and the sellotaped coin) in the postbox.

  • My cold's nearly better
  • later
    s
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