Spidey Senses

2005-10-13, 10:48 p.m.
Well, here we are again. Just got in from rehearsal and I'm totally knackered as usual. BF has skipped off to the pub for lasties and I've fired up the noisy ole studio flight deck for a quick entry before his triumphal return. So, what's new. Totally wankered again this morning, due in no small part to the combined efforts of kids, work and rehearsing and, of course, worrying about BF and all his traumas - more on that later. I suppose the late night whisky and cigarette fest didlittle to help but I think its a must after a hard day being top banana followed by a night treading the boards. I was joined for the festivities by a MASSIVE spider which settled on the cushion just behind my head and just hung around for a bit daring me to go get the hoover and suck his sorry ass up with that lovely satisfying PHWWOTTT noise they make when you get em with the crevice tool. Anyways, the little bastard escaped before I had a chance to get him so Im fully expecting him to have guessed at his eventual fate and decided to have one last chance at scaring the shit out of me before his timely demise. I suspect he'll re-appear somewhen totally inopportune - fixing his beady little stick-eye things on me when Im in the tub or scuttling across the mattress when Im next administering a blow-job. Maybe Id better not do either for a while just in case. Hmm, could probably do without the baths but....Nah, lets not go there. Beside, have promised BF some SERIOUS passion tonight and Im thinking probably his idea of how the night is likely to pan out doesnt include me leaping naked from the bed and shrieking "Fucking Hell It's Massive! Kill it! Kill it!" and flapping my arms about. Given that the shrieking/flapping combo would also mean that I'd TOTALLY forget to hold my stomach in, this could prove ruinous to BFs distorted image of me as perfect ExecutiveSupermumMasterchefSlutWhore (yep, that's where the Stepfordtart bit comes from). Mind you, I'd probably be alright if I just stopped after the "Fucking Hell Its Massive" bit - he'd be too busy preening to notice me furtively reaching under the bed for a slipper to whup his little arachnid ass with (the spider, not BF - his ass is actually quite nice in a hairy BF sort of way - not like mine, which has more than a hint of the 'two badly parked VolksWagens' about it). This entry's taking MUCH MUCH longer than I thought - I have to keep going back and correcting because the stoopid hi-tech cordless keyboard is much slower than my fantabulous typing and keeps missing stuff that I KNOW Ive pressed. BTW, I know its cruel to kill spiders and one should just humanely pop a glass over them and release them into the wild - and that is something that I do actually do if Im here by myself - but what's the opint in BF being here if it isnt to rescue me from spiders and get the lid off the jam and take the bins out and stff. Oh and to tell me he loves me and to wrap his bg ole BF arms around me late at night and snore in my ear. LOVELY. I might be a bit crappy at updating while the play's on but I'll try and do a bit between shows and work and kids and being fab and let you know how its going - well, not if it sucks, obviously, but if its going really well and my public love me, you'll be the first to know.

Nighty night
x



back - forth